The Adventures of Bloggard

Been Around the Block. Got Some Stories. These are Them.

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Charlie’s Fortune

05.16.2018 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Panda Express, Medford, Oregon, May 14, 2018 — My favorite, and pretty much only place I get lunch when I don’t want to cook/prep, is Panda Express, because you can get vegetables instead of rice, and while not perfect, it’s a pretty healthy meal.

I take gooddog Charlie so he gets an outing, but I don’t let him out so I bring him the fortune cookie. (He eats them, but I do not.) And so naturally that means the fortune is actually gooddog Charlie’s fortune.

Lately I’ve begun to question these Panda Express fortunes that he gets. I was suspicious last week when he got, “You will be a great success, both in business and socially.”

And now, after yesterday — when he got “Good news will come to you by mail.” — I am seriously questioning the accuracy of these Panda Express fortunes.

Categories // All, amazement, animals, fantasy, fun

Multiple Universes?

05.06.2018 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Medford, Oregon, May 6, 2018 — Sometimes I’m kind of material-minded, and think “down to earth” thoughts. Other times I feel rather woo-woo, but there it is.

I believe there are multiple universes, our physical universe being but one. And that, in a way, these can be pictured as all in ONE place, but “invisible” and generally inaccessible to each other. My hippie years suggest they have a different vibration, but really I’ve no clue, and because time and space seem to be pretty darn twisty anyway, it may be that 70 million light-years away may sometimes be as nearby as the house next door, under the right conditions.

And I believe that these universes are infinite, and that more are created all the time.

I *suspect* that every time one of mus makes a decision it *may* spin off another child universe which is the same except for that decision which was made, so there is a YOU in many or most of them.

Now because of decisions made by someone else way back, perhaps in some of those universes you are the Queen of England, and in another it’s called the Queenie of Poodlesnoot, and in another you’re living under a [Read more…]

Categories // All, amazement, consciousness, fantasy, how to tune a human, lucid dreams, mind, the universe

The Morgan Motor Car

03.18.2018 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

North Texas University, Denton, Texas, 1965. Heartbroken, after running off my high-school sweetheart, envious met her new flame, a boisterous trumpet player driving a red MGB.

Shortly thereafter when crazy Becky Jarvis said, “You ought to get a Morgan.” I said huh? And then …

I bought a Morgan Motor Car in Dallas from a garage guy named Big John, who imported them and raced them. This one was blue, with tan upholstery and black top. Three thousand dollars.

Built with a wooden frame atop a steel z-frame, whatever that might be. The whole car flexed. Weighted 1400 pounds and had a 1.5 liter engine, hopped-up Ford Cortina with Lotus modifications, Jaguar trannasaurus, ran like hell, whining high-pitched, a redline at 9000. About four inches from the ground. That would be your butt, flying above your asphalt.

Morgan Motor Car

The first night, driving it home, in the dark, was terrifying. It was so fast. Seemed like piloting the bolt from a crossbow, rocketing down that dark backwoods highway. Later discovered it had the wrong speedometer; and my highway trip at 65 was really around 90. It did seem sprightly.

The jack arrangement was to insert the jack through a hole in the floor. This hole normally was covered by the rubber floor mat. However, on rainy Dallas days I have seen the puddle splash up through the hole, lifting the floor mat, to spash against the windshield, on the passenger side. Kind of a defroster system.

Paul Miner drew up cartoons of our gang at that time. Mine was ‘Richard, the sports car nut’. It showed me in riding pants, saying “Of course, she won’t start on cold mornings, but at $2999, she can afford to be a little temperamental.”

Paul was right on the money. One of my proudest moments at that time was during an astounding snowstorm. On Dallas freeway and headed back to Denton, I let the air out of the tires down to about 15 pounds. Then, my 1400 pound car could walk up the icy hills where the big sedans just skidded and spun. Got me through. Good thing. That heater. I probably would have died out there.

A year or so later, living in Dallas in an apartment rented from Dunia Bean, which had a swimming pool, driving to work at the Cabana. And a fool oncoming lost it and bent my car. That was the end of the Morgan.

Regarding that swimming pool. It had an underwater light. Have you ever, at night, on LSD, opened your eyes underwater to look at a light? No?

Well, that Morgan was something.

Categories // adventure, All, amazement, college, Looking Back, the universe

The Alphabet Ends with the Letter ‘Y’

12.29.2017 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Categories // action, All, amazement, fun, Looking Back, News, time, writing

Leap Up, Fall Down – the Daylight Savings Scam

11.05.2017 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Medford, Oregon – Daylight Savies Day, 2017 — Before I share my handy tip with you, I gotta say that in my opinion, William Willett has a lot to answer for, because best I can tell he was the scurvy dog — not Benjamin Franklin — who actually “invented” what is now Daylight Savings Time. Or maybe I should say he was the scurvy dog who unleashed the Daylight Savings Scam upon an unsuspecting populace.

‘Only a white man would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket and sew it to the bottom of a blanket and have a longer blanket.’ — Indian Saying

Ain’t it just the truth!

And right here, right now I want to put to rest the scurrilous rumors that [Read more…]

Categories // All, amazement, fun, ideas, mental health, Problems, time, truth

Larry’s Last Gig

08.19.2017 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

San Francisco, July 14, 1993: The day being ‘Bastille Day’, the French National Holiday, I was hired to play a gig at a French Restaurant on Polk Street. Wearing my tuxedo, with my tapping instrument and amplifier, I was wedged into a small niche near the door, and the wine was flowing freely as the evening progressed.

I’m playing my usual blend of Beatles, Bossa Nova, and Standards, when a fellow came up, introduced himself as Tom Bullock, and said he’d been a keyboard player. Over his wineglass, he started telling me about himself and his buddy Larry, a horn player.

The Gig from Hell

As a nominee for ‘The Gig from Hell,’ I think it merits attention. Here then is the sad, sad story of Larry’s last gig …

They were trying to get this regular gig at the Officer’s Club, and so they took this free gig at the Country Club, where the Colonel in charge of booking was supposed to come and hear them. They were to receive a free meal, and if they were a hit, then they would [Read more…]

Categories // All, amazement, bidness, Looking Back, music, pals Tags // gigs, megatar, music

A Report on Chinese Christmas Eve

08.04.2017 by bloggard // 2 Comments

Marin County, July 16, 2017 — For her birthday, Adrienne came down from her Oregon home to visit with her daughters and grandchildren. Her whole family was there: Layla, Celina, Jessica, Dameon, and even Rhiannon and her puppy “Penny,” who flew in from Germany. All of them remembered …

 

Marin County, December 24, 2007 –– In our house on Scenic Avenue in San Anselmo, I made up a Christmas Eve Tradition. Because the previous month at Thanksgiving, due to Layla’s insistence, we had enjoyed a wonderful dinner of Tofurky. Ha! Enjoyed? Who am I kidding?

The Tofurky Experience

We agreed unilaterally that we would NEVER have Tofurky again. Maybe it’s ok for some things, but as a substitute for a proper Thanksgiving dinner … thank you, but no. So here we are coming up on Christmass Eve, and dinner was a problem. Because Adrienne doesn’t cook; it’s against her religion. And franky I don’t know how to do a turkey, and it’s a lot of work, and so invention being the mother of necessity … I made up [Read more…]

Categories // All, amazement, family, Looking Back, magic, time

Not Just a Good Idea

06.02.2017 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Categories // All, amazement, fun, ideas, memes, the universe

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