The Adventures of Bloggard

Been Around the Block. Got Some Stories. These are Them.

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Sponging at the Girl’s Dorm

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

North Texas State University, Denton Texas, 1962: When several of us lived in a house in Shady Shores on Lake Dallas, there was kind of a “girl gang” who came to visit.

Jan was round and pretty, and she liked Hardy.

Jill was thin, clever, and funny, and I liked her.

Shayna was mature, beautiful, and she liked Paul, who was actually engaged to someone else, though that didn’t seem to interfere much.

They’d all show up at the lake house. We laughed a lot. I remember nights with a bonfire on the beach, a lot of beer. I remember driving to some dive up the road where, again, we drank a lot of beer. I grew sleepy and closed my eyes and pretended to be blind for a while.

“Come on, blind man!” Shayna said, “Stay with us!”

She was Jewish, daughter of a well-to-do Dallas family who owned a milk company. I didn’t know much about being Jewish and asked questions. She said they didn’t believe in the Devil, and so I asked if she would sell me her soul.

She said she would.

We wrote up a contract

So I bought her soul, for five pieces of silver, writing up the contract on my typewriter, an impressive red IBM Selectric I’d inherited from my stepfather’s office.

She took the five dimes and signed the contract. So I have owned Shayna’s soul for many, many years, because I kept the contract safe in my red box of important stuff.

The red box stayed with me through college, Dallas, St. Louis, England, Los Angeles, Texas, and San Francisco. There were a lot of documents in there, transcripts, and government cards, and drawings, and other stuff, including Shayna’s soul.

Meanwhile, back in those college times, I turned to crime

But this is getting ahead of myself. Back at North Texas, the next year I got a tiny apartment across from the English building, and I rarely saw the girl gang. There was always a blitz of study right before Christmas Holiday, and unlike my friends, often I didn’t go home right away, but rather stayed in my quiet apartment.

The campus was empty and thoughtful, the weather clear and chill. Restful, it was, though I had no money. One night I spent the last of my cash on cigarettes rather than supper, and in the morning, I woke up hungry.

Down on the corner in the early morning light, I saw the bread truck, parking to deliver to the Hob Nob. As the driver went inside, I crept from the bushes, jumped into the back of the truck, stole a loaf of bread, and ran.

As I glanced behind me, I saw Larry Burns, the young man who operated the Hob Nob, standing in the back doorway. He was watching me and laughing. Damn!

Pondering starvation

Holed up with coffee and bread and cigarettes, pondering starvation, I remembered that, during the holiday vacations, the cafeterias of all the dorms closed, except for one. The same dorm where the girl gang lived.

So I called on them about lunchtime, and then discovered that any dorm students stranded on campus over the holiday took meals there in the girls’ dorm. I walked into the dining room between Jill and Jan. Lunch!

Free lunch! Lots of lunch! Plenty! Free!

The cafeteria ladies, seeing so many unfamiliar faces, just assumed I lived in one of the dorms, and fed me along with everyone else.

I went back every day.

Ah, those good times …

That was the last time I saw the girl gang. Things happened, and you lose track.

And twenty years later, in a flat overlooking Geary Boulevard in San Francisco, where I lived in a small room at the back of Network Answering Service, I found Shayna’s soul stored carefully in the red box.

Through her family’s milk company in Dallas, I located her, married long since and living on the coast north of Los Angeles. I called her.

She didn’t remember that I owned her soul. She hadn’t missed it. We hadn’t much to talk about. Things had changed.

After the phone conversation, since I had her address, I mailed her soul back to her.

It was the least I could do.

Categories // adventure, All, college, friends, happiness, Looking Back, North Texas State University

Running like the Wind

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

February 9, 2006, Mount Shasta: Adrienne took two dogs to the dog park, but came home with three dogs.

Charlie is a cross between a beagle and a border collie. He has the dark eyes of a beagle, looking very much like Rudolph Valentino. We almost named him Valentino, because we carried him to the Humane Society for the mandatory one week, and then adopted him on Valentine’s day.

But he’s a rugged young fellow, and ‘Charlie’ sounded more down to earth. Not that he stays down to earth. He runs like the wind. When she takes him to the dog park, he leaps the fence like it was nothing, and runs far, far to the east, in and out of the bushes, and then far, far to the west. Now you see him. Now you don’t.

Other dog-park visitors call out, “Look! He’s over there!” and point. And then they cry, “And look! Now he’s way over there!”

Adrienne just smiles.

And, so far, he always comes back.

It’s wonderful to watch him run. He flashes across the field, hardly seeming to touch the ground.

How wonderful to be an animal. He helps me to remember.

Categories // Looking Back

Back in Da Saddle Again

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

December 4, 2006: After being off the air, awaiting repairs after hacker damage — apparently our server was needed to assist in sending important viagra spam to needy individuals in Brazil and Portugal — the Adventures of Bloggard has again returned to the this spot on your internet dial. A new carborator, air in the tires, a coat of wax, and this weblog’s as good as new. Maybe.

My last post was September of 2005. A year has passed. My how time flies when you’re having fun. Maybe even when you’re not.

During the year, Cowboy Charlie showed up, a beagle-border collie mix, and is now a part of our morning ritual. Charlie and Daisy Dog tussle, while Lizzie barks and barks and barks. Ah, the gentle morning.

A major upgrade in the Megatar shop is nearing completion, installing machinery of greater precision and volume, because we were falling behind on orders.

More to follow, from time to time.

Categories // Looking Back

On This Day: Quetzalcoatl and More …

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Big mouth. Big wings. Big trouble.

Interior of Mexico, this week: Maybe our myth and memory of long ago is better than we think.

Archeological discoveries in Mexico made recently report that fossils of the Pterosaur, a flying lizard from the same period as dinosaurs, actually had wingspans up to 60 feet! Thank about that. It’s lots bigger than a small airplane. It’s longer than a bus.

The pterosaur was much like a huge bat, with membrane-thin wings and hollow bones. It’s also called Quetzalcoatlus after the ‘Feathered Serpent’ of the Aztecs.

A dim and ancient memory?

I don’t know what you think, but it sounds like a dragon to me.

Perhaps the dragon is not such a mythical beast as we’ve been told. Perhaps it is, instead, a dim and ancient memory, deep inside us, and in moments, seen clearly.

Categories // Looking Back

So Long — Robert Moog to Infinity

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Asheville, North Carolina, August 22, 2005: Robert Moog, 71, the inventor of the synthesizer, died today at his home, from an inoperable brain tumor. A childhood interest in the theremin
young bob builds the synthesizer led him to create sound modules, creating the first synthesizers used in early electronic recordings such as ‘The Nonesuch Guide to Electronic Music.’

Early recording artists such as Walter Carlos — later Wendy Carlos — and two musicians I met in a Los Angeles Warehouse, Paul Beaver and Bernie Krause — brought synthesized sound into the radio landscape, where it has become the background music for our lives today and into the future.

Despite hobnobbing with headliner musicians world-wide, Moog remained quite humble about his place in the world. For example … [Read more…]

Categories // All, Looking Back, music

Doing for Oneself

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Moishe is driving in Jerusalem. He’s late for a meeting. He’s looking for a parking space, and can’t find one. In desperation, he turns towards Heaven and says, “God, if you find me a parking space, I promise that I’ll eat only Kosher, respect the Sabbath, and all the Holidays.”

Miraculously, a parking spot opens up just in front of him.

He turns his face up to heaven and says, “Never mind, I just found one.”

Categories // Looking Back

And Now the Latest News …

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Researchers from Technische University (Munich, Germany) reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association that patients with migraine headaches were helped just as much by acupuncture needles stuck randomly into their bodiese as by needles at the precisely prescribed pressure points.

And nay-sayers claim that acupuncture doesn’t work!

****

The Virginia Employment Agency, which handles unemployment compensation, recently laid off 400 of its workers. The reason was that unemployment in Virginia was so low that the unemployment workers had nothing to do.

****

A support group for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome based in Nelson, New Zealand, said that its members would generally not attend the public International Awareness Day held to expand awareness of the debilitating illnes. The group chairman said that members would probably not attend, because the members are usually too tired for such events.

Categories // Looking Back

Daisy and the Fish

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Can an Angel laugh?

Mount Shasta, July 7th, 2005: Daisy, our little white border collie is one year old. From the basement today Adrienne brought the plastic swimming pool. It’s just a Toys ‘R Us special, about four feet across and perhaps eight inches deep. She’d bought it for the dogs, for the hot weather.

On the back deck, she filled it up with cool, clear water.

Tonight after supper, with the sun aslant from beyond the mountains to the west, and the mountain beyond our back yard glowing peach-colored, we sat out back drinking iced tea after supper.

Daisy noticed, for the first time, the little fish printed on the bottom of the plastic pool.

At first I was puzzled at her dipping her head into the water, and biting at the water. Suddenly, I saw it. If I just forget what I know about the refraction of water, then what my eyes actually see are the painted fish wiggling as the water moves, and the wiggling fish are just barely below the surface.

Therefore, any good dog, who was quick enough, ought to be able to bite one of those wiggling fish!

Again and again she circled the edge of the plastic pool, biting into the water. Bite, bite, bite, bite, bite!

See funny Spot!

Plunging her head down into the water — bite, bite, bite, bite, bite! — and then she would lift up, to clear the water from her nose and mouth. She’d look at us, puzzled, as the water poured down from her chin.

We were laughing, and I greatly admired her persistance, and then this made me think about the Angels.

Angels always seem so solemn. They aren’t human, of course. So I wonder: Can Angels laugh?

Is it in them that they can laugh? Can they understand strife? Pain? Release? Freedom? Is anything funny to the Angels? Can you picture an Angel, laughing?

I hope they can.

I hope they can laugh. Because just as we can see how Daisy is caught up in illusion, so too must God see us, caught up, day by day, in illusion.

It must be very funny to God. At least, I’d like to think God is getting the good of it. And that’s why I hope that the Angels can laugh, because surely it will be so much more fun for God, if He’s got somebody to share the joke.

Categories // Looking Back

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