The Adventures of Bloggard

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Sweeping the Snow

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Seventeen Cars for the Rock Island!

St. Louis, Winter 1967: At the Carrie Street station are fourteen tracks, lined up beside the main tracks that run around town to the Southern Pacific, the Erie, and the other lines. A local company called the “Terminal Railroad” hauls cars on these main tracks, in a big circle around the city.

“Got seventeen Rocks!” the Terminal conductor says, walking into the concrete office where the bill clerk and I do our work. He hands a bundle of Bills of Lading wrapped round with a rubber band to the bill clerk, while outside Danny and the switchmen throw the switch levers sticking up from the tracks, so that the Terminal train, which has just passed our yard and is now stopped, can back up these seventeen cars for us, the Rock Island Line, into one of our fourteen tracks.

Unhitched, those seventeen cars sit while the Terminal locomotive powers the rest of their train around the bend and out of sight.

And then it began to snow.

I never knew exactly what Bill the bill clerk did, but he spent his time inside the concrete office. I’d spend my time standing outside in the cold while the cars rolled past, writing down the car numbers as fast as I could.

If I could write these numbers as the cars passed by, then I didn’t have to walk up and down the freezing tracks to write down the numbers. From my car numbers written down and in order, Bill the bill clerk prepared a list for Danny and the switchmen.

By analysing the Bills of Lading, Bill determined that some cars were going to Kansas City — the next stop beyond St. Louis on the Rock Island Line — and that some other cars were bound for Denver or Santa Fe or Oakland. It was my job then to carry Bill’s list across the yard to Danny the switch foreman, and Danny would figure how to move the cars around into the correct order, so that the last group dropped off at Kansas City, the next group in Denver, and so on.

An engineer would then hook the switch engine to the cars, and pull them all forward, and then push them back into this track, and that track, and this other track, because that’s how you sort railroad cars. Some cars were called “pigs” because their flat beds were to be loaded with truck trailers; it stood for “piggy-back”. Other cars were called “reefers” because they were insulated, with motors on top to keep the interior refrigerated; these would be filled with perishables like frozen orange juice, or lettuce. Some cars were “tankers”, and some were plain old boxcars.

During all this switching, the switchmen, under Danny’s direction, stood at the switches. A switch is a tall iron bar sticking up from the tracks; you push or pull on the switching bar so that a section of track moves a few inches, so as to guide the incoming cars into track number four or track number five.

While the switchmen sorted cars, I returned to my desk with a copy of the switching list Danny made up, and upon my desk into a big box containing slots, numbered the same as the tracks outside, I sorted the Bills of Lading into the same order as the switchmen were sorting the cars. These Bills of Lading, in order, would go to Kansas City with the cars.

You see how many guys it takes? You see how all the jobs are divided up? You’d think that, since Bill and I had periods of time with nothing to do, as did the switchmen, that we could double on each others’ jobs. But no!

The union has penalties for that behavior. All jobs are defined and regulated by the union. Only a switchman can throw a switch. Only a yard clerk (me) can write down the numbers and sort the bills. Our jobs were protected, see, and we paid our union dues to keep it that way.

The problem was that this particular Sunday it started snowing, and soon there was an inch of snow on the tracks and switchboxes.

Mind you, this doesn’t interfere with the switchbox at all. The switchbox is a foot-square metal box, containing the gears that move the track section. Remember, the long bar that operates the switchbox is sticking four feet up into the air above the switch box with its one inch of snow.

But according to union rules, the switchmen are not required to throw a switch which has snow upon it. Instead, the switchmen can retire to huddle around the coal stove in the switch shanty, to read newspapers, shoot the breeze, and generally do nothing for the same hourly pay.

As soon as somebody sweeps the snow off the switch — a matter of four or five seconds with an ordinary broom — then the switchmen have to go back to work, moving those pigs and reefers and tankers into place for their trip to Kansas City.

Now, the person whose job includes sweeping snow off a switch is a carman. The carmen work normal business hours in the shop down at the end of track three. That’s where they repair broken cars, replace wheels, adjust brakes, grease bearings, and such maintainance work.

On this Sunday afternoon, the carmen had all gone home.

It therefore fell to Bill the bill clerk to call a carman out to the job. Now, Bill knew that many of the carmen would turn the job down. In fact he was pretty sure that the first dozen on the list — a list arranged by seniority — would turn it down.

It would have saved time if Bill could have just called carman number twelve, but that’s not permitted, as the most senior guys must be offered the (overtime) job first. A number of hours were spent, with me and the switchmen sitting idle, and then with the Terminal railroad crew and their entire train sitting idle on the main track, just passing by but blocked by our now-immobile switch engine, which our engineer couldn’t move because the switch, which the switchmen weren’t required to throw, because there was snow on the switch.

During these hours only Bill was working, tracking down one and then another of the senior carmen so they could turn down the job, as was their right and privilege. Finally Bill reached the bottom of the list and James the carman said sure, I’ll be right out.

An hour later, when James hadn’t arrived, Bill called to discover that James had fallen back asleep, while our crews and hundreds of tons of merchandise sat immobile. James apologised and again claimed that he’d be right out.

An hour later, when James still hadn’t arrived, Bill suddenly swore aloud, and throwing his clipboard across the room, he threw on his coat, grabbed the broom, and stomped across the yard, where he swept the snow from the switch in three quick strokes. The switch crew came out of the shanty to stare at Bill. Bill glared at the lot of them.

“Now throw the damn switch!” he roared.

Muttering and swearing, the switchmen marched into the cold and back to work, and later that night, twelve hours late, our train departed for Kansas City.

James the carman never did show up, but he got one day’s pay anyway, because he’d been called out. Bill had a chit filed against him for “job endangerment.” And I gained a whole new way of looking at the union.

Categories // All, amazement, buddhism, Looking Back, zen

Six Seconds

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Mount Shasta, California, March 13, 2011: Today on the radio I listened to Arnold Schwartzenegger’s gubernatorial speech. The guy is a pretty good inspirational speaker; I liked it.

I’ve read two of his books, and there he says that if you can imagine it, you can do it. In his radio speech, he used similies from his weight-lifting career, and he said, “It’s always surprising to discover one thing: You’re always stronger than you know.”

Stronger than you know?

And this reminded me of a young woman in a weaver’s studio in San Francisco.

My friend Maggie Northcott introduced me to Susan the weaver, and we became close, and I met Susan’s friends. Most of them were weavers, too. In fact, a whole bunch of them shared a large studio space on Potrero Hill, and when I visited there one day, I was introduced to a most unusual young woman.

She was about 26, sturdy built and very pretty, with even features, clear eyes, and very frizzy dark blond hair. Susan told me that the woman had won an Olympic weight-lifting medal.

This was surprising. She didn’t look like what I imagined a weight-lifter must look like. I asked the woman it. She said yes, and named some hugely staggering amount of weight that she’d lifted.

“You’re not kidding me?” I asked.

She looked me in the eye. “No,” she said, “Of course not.”

“Then tell me, please,” I said. “I’d like to know. How in the world can you do that?”

She paused, looking down and perhaps inward. “It’s like this,” she said. “For this lift, you only have to lift it for six seconds, see?”

I nodded. She paused.

“And the way I see it,” she said, “Six seconds really isn’t very long at all. I figure I can do anything for six seconds.”

I suppose that’s how it’s done. Simple, isn’t it?

Categories // amazement, Looking Back, mind

The Lord of the Wood

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

A woodsy mountainside in California, Summer 1975: I subscribed to Green Egg, edited by Tim Zell. (Later known as Oberon Zell.) I think ‘Green Egg’ meant the planet earth.

It was a Wiccan publication, a half-size underground zine that came out eight times a year on the usual holidays — Imbolc, Ostara, Beltane, Litha, Lughnasadh, Mabon, Samhain, and Yule — and there I read about a big gathering mid-summer, so that would be Litha on the Summer Solstice (June 21).

I rode my motorcycle down the freeway, always an buffeting excitement, and my tail was plenty numb by the time I parked outside a modest cottege in Silicon Valley. I heard singing inside, some Celtic thing, so I burst through the door and asked was this the revival meeting?

To general good vibes, I was introduced around, to Tim Zell, and his wife and goddess by the name of Morning Glory, and she was a glory to be sure. A caravan of vehicles was planned, but way too far for my moto.

So that was how I got invited to ride in the converted schoolbus with Morning Glory, and Tim Zell, and the python, and the boa constrictor.

Morning Glory explained that the snakes were not very intelligent, though they were quite empathetic. I kept very still and tried to be an empathetic kind of guy as the python undulated under the table, sliding smooth and slow as molasses, quick black tongue flickering. It seemed to like my motorcycle boots.

Luckily they are too big for a python to eat, so he didn’t try.

Behind me, on the back window of the bus was a flat piece of plastic with concentric lines. “It’s called a fresnel lens,” explained Tim over his shoulder as he drove the bus up the freeway. Although the plastic piece was flat, it acted like a lens so he could see if any fool was standing behind the bus, so as not to squash them.

Morning Glory was a statuesque honey blonde wearing barbarian’s clothing, emitting a kind of musky sensuality that made it difficult to sit still, her body and movement earthy, her breath a heady perfume. I liked her.

Some hours later, once free of the freeway, we wound through tiny roads up and up and up, through pine and red-barked manzanita and scrub, until a cattle guard and a dusty dirt road up the side of the mountain. The schoolbus was doubtful, but perseverence, care, and the grandma gearing paid off.

Atop the mountain, we found a vast meadow surrounded by the forest, tall trees older than we, and no sign of mankind if you don’t count the 200-300 pagans gathered there.

These wild people were picnicing, singing songs with guitar, and having a wild pagan softball game. I esconced with a dozen others beneath the trees, and soon was demonstrating the Hurley Tarot deck, feeling quite at home. There’s no group like the witches for being friendly like folks, has been my experience. You may feel differently, but they seem an odd-ball and loving group of people to me.

We ate somehow, and the darkness eventually drew near. I had no bedding nor place to sleep, and chatted up a pretty brunette wearing gypsy clothing and keys to a station wagon. I don’t remember how we spent the night, but it was in the station wagon. (I saw her for some weeks after my return home, but she was the recently-divorced ex of a policeman, and had a habit of claiming that “her feelings were hurt” every four or five minutes, so it didn’t last that long.)

The next day was the big ceremony. Being solstice and the longest day of the year, the appropriate time would be high noon, with the big sun right overhead.

A Wiccan ceremony generally goes roughly like this: The high priestess would ring a bell or call out while everybody stood in a huge circle, holding hands. The words go something like this:

“Let this be our circle!” cried Morning Glory. “What is in the circle is not of the world. What is not of the world is between the worlds. Let this be our circle!”

Often the Lady (for example, of the sky) would be invoked to bless the ceremony, and in this case, the Lord of the Wood was invoked to give us all courage and hope, for of course we were standing with forest all around us. The Lord of the Wood is usually portrayed as having antlers like a deer, and he is swift, subtle, and strong.

As we stood in the circle, which right then felt very much not of the world, as we gazed into the bonfire burning in the center of the circle, and as Morning Glory called upon the Lord of the Wood, suddenly in the meadow arose what back in Texas we called a “Dust Devil”, like a mini-tornado of spinning dust. The spinning column arose from nowhere, and spinning and reaching up into the bright summer sky, it floated through our circle.

The hair stood up on the back of my neck. The column of dust reached higher in the air, up toward the sun in the sky, and then it vanished.

I was happy that the Lord of the Wood was able to join us that day. I don’t recall much of the rest of the ceremony, but I’d reassure you that they don’t kill chickens or anything like that. I also don’t know where this place was, nor could I find it again. Later that day I rode home in the station wagon with the brunette, and eventually found my motorcycle.

I put on my helmet, and returned to San Francisco, so distant from the forest of the Lord of the Wood. But, you know, from time to time, I think I felt him, perhaps in Golden Gate Park, or on Mount Tam, or around a corner in Chinatown. Perhaps he was passing through. Perhaps not. But that’s a whole nother story.

Categories // adventure, All, amazement, Looking Back, magic

And Heaven To Bite

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Van Ness and Geary, San Francisco, Halloween 1977: For sheer party extravagance, it’s hard to beat San Francisco’s gay streets, either Polk Street or Castro Street. It’s like Carnival.

The Castro is closed off, and the more raucous, but Lori and I didn’t drink much, so generally we’d meander in costume up and then down Polk, to see and be seen. She sported a fairy-godmother costume in purple with a tall, conical hat and scarf, and I used my standard demon costume — long black wig with two horns, face-paint, red military jacket with epaulets and sword, blue pants with red stripe, boots, and a long tail.

We fit right in. But this particular evening was before I met Lori.

THE DEMON RIDES

I’d been out on my motorcycle, in my demon costume, first to a dance event at Fort Mason, led by someone named Starhawk or Moondove or Planetbird, which was a kind of costumed conga-line to really loud music.

I got caught up with some lesbians who were going to a place South of Market, which turned out to be a very frustrating experience, and later I’d parked my moto on Van Ness near Geary, to grab a late burger at this all-night place built from a cable-car between two buildings.

ENTER DRACULA

I was walking back to my chained motorcycle on the sidewalk on Van Ness, and I stopped at the corner for a red light. As I stood on the sidewalk, to my immediate left, a convertible pulled up, waiting to turn, and so it was that, sitting in the seat next to where I stood, I discovered Dracula.

Dracula, in his red-lined cape, slicked-back dark hair, and yellow fangs, looked up from his seat at me.

I, in my wig and horns, sword, and military clobber, stood at the curb, looking down at Dracula. I held out my arms toward Dracula, and burst into loud song:

“Lovely to look at, delightful to hold …” I sang. And Dracula joined in, with harmony:

“… and Heaven to Bite!”

The song ended. The light changed. Dracula and I nodded to each other.

His driver turned the corner, and they disappeared up Geary Boulevard into the night.

Categories // adventure, All, amazement, fun, Looking Back

The Apartment From Hell

03.13.2011 by bloggard // 3 Comments

North Beach, San Francisco, 1974: I’d found this neato apartment and thought myself lucky. The I Ching had said “Supreme Success!”

Little did I know how much the Chinese Gods of Divination love a good joke.

It was a success, for there I found Rosie the Cat, and took her away and lived happily ever after. Other than that, it was a disaster so stupid you can’t help but laugh.

In North Beach, on the corner of Grant and Green, in the picture you see a bar, but back then it was a Hawaiian Bar, and just above that Hawaiian Bar, behind the large bay window you see on the right, along with mice and cockroaches and loud Hawaiian music on the jukebox of the bar downstairs, that’s where I lived.

Living Over a Hawaiian Bar

Strange and bizarre … all night long, loud lyrics like: “Hooka lakka shooka lakka, wikki wikky ogaloo!” Over and over again. The guys downstairs had the consolation of alcohol to take the edge off these songs; I had nothing.

However, I worked an odd shift at the Westbury Hotel at this time, from seven in the evening until three am. This saved me from several hours of Shooka Lakka Hooka Lakka, for which I was grateful.

Strange Chinese Vegetables!

It was also interesting, leaving work at three in the morning. The busses run infrequently that late, and taxis were expensive, so I’d walk through the Stockton Street tunnel and through a deserted Chinatown at three. All the shop’s trashcans pungent with strange chinese vegetables and worse, but these barricades didn’t stop me.

Home at Last, at 3 a.m.

At home at last. But two doors up at Wumpers Bar, they had after-hours entertainment with Perry and the Pumpers. I’ll give the Pumpers one thing: they were plenty energetic. So, to the strains of pumping rock and roll, it was time to hit the hay.

The bars and shops on Grant have lots of garbage, and trashcans filled with empty bottles. So much that the trash companies come every night, sometimes three times during the night. The growling trucks and the crashing din of the bottles leant an exotic ambiance to the late hours on North Beach.

Luckily, the mornings are pretty quiet

Except one day, I’m awakened by a loud, repeating banging. A voice is chanting “Goddamned Phonebooth! Goddamned Phonebooth! Goddamned Phonebooth!”

Rising to peer blearily from my window at the sunny morning, below my window, a stringy unkempt fellow is kicking the back wall of the phonebooth below. A burly fellow across the street calls out “Hey!”, meaning Stop, or maybe What the hell are you doing?

Stringy guy sticks his head outside the phonebooth door, and screams, “It took my dime!” The guy across the street, a big guy, makes a fist and yells to knock it off. Stringy guy, glaring, makes off down the street.

I go back to bed.

And then …

I’m awakened by a loud, repeated banging. A voice is chanting. I rise and peer from the window. Stringy is back.

Now, the mailbox has been tipped over and lies flat on the sidewalk. Stringy guy is kicking the mailbox over and over again.

“Goddamned Mailbox!” he screams, “Goddamned Mailbox! Goddamned Mailbox! Goddamned Mailbox!”

Ah, life in North Beach.

 

Categories // All, amazement, Looking Back, making changes, San Francisco

How to Save Time with Abbreviations

03.13.2011 by bloggard // 4 Comments

hourglassHere’s a handy tip that can yield big savings:

Use abbreviations. For example, when I operated Network Answering Service in San Francisco, we quickly learned to develop standard abbreviations for common things people say. For example, OOT for “out of town”, or WCB for “will call back”.

Other handy abbreviations include PLSC for “please call”, NA for “not applicable”, DBA for “doing business as”, DA for “doesn’t answer”, and OCS for “onward christian soldiers”.

But why limit this to written notes? For example, suppose you want to thank somebody for something, but it’s just a little thing. You want to thank them a little but not a lot. To communicate this precisely, and to save time at the same time, just abbreviate “Thank you” or “Thanks”.

Say: “Thank.”

See, that’s less than “Thanks.”

But wait, there’s more!

You can abbreviate more complex ideas, as well. For example, perhaps you were thinking just now that these are the moments of your life, and this is how you are spending them. Well, in this case, you could save some thinking time by using an abbreviation of “moments”.

For example, you could say “momo”. That would be like one little moment. Or the plural form “momos”, as in “These are the momos of our lives.”

Often the practice of abbreviation yields surprising insights. For example, thinking about how these are the momos of our lives, you might just naturally think about death. And then of course there would be “no more” momos, and you could abbreviate the “no more” as “nomo”.

So you can see, you could speak, or think, very succinctly. You could think about the momos of our lives, and how, when we die, we got nomo momos nomo.

You see how that can save you time?

It can Really Add Up!

Now if you just save a few seconds every couple of hours, then you’ll accumulate several minutes every single week. By the end of the year you’ll have an extra thirty or forty minutes. Over a lifetime you might have hours, or even days, saved up!

And that ain’t bad.

Categories // All, amazement, fun, ideas, Looking Back

The UFO

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Henrietta, Texas, 1949: Because my mother worked as a nurse for my Uncle Doc, I spent the day at Mrs. Miller’s house, along with her boys Rex and Mike.

As I recall, that day we’d hadSomething Startles the King a lunch of Chef Boy-Ar-Dee, or it might have been balony sandwiches, and we’d looked at an old copy of Life magazine, which contained pictures from a movie called King Kong. It was about a really big gorilla, and we boys were pretty impressed.

We’d run around all day and were quiet now, at perhaps 2 in the afternoon, when we heard the neighbor lady call out.

The Neighbor Lady Called Out!

Mrs. Miller seemed alarmed, and we followed her outside. We stood in amazement beside the fence, looking up. There was a jet-trail streaking across the sky, high, high, high in the clear blue.

As it happened, the iceman was just passing by, perhaps the last person in our town who used a horse to draw his wagon. The wagon was essentially a large box on tall wheels, unpainted wood, with the single, faded word ‘ICE’ on the side.

The wagon was stopped in the street, the horse resting with drooping head, in grazing position with nothing to graze on the pavement. The iceman gawked at the sky. The contrail turned into a new direction. We gasped.

Everyone Was Astounded

Up and down the street, people were standing and staring. The iceman and the neighbor lady were talking.

She thought it might be a UFO. We didn’t know what that meant, but it was something never seen before. What was it?

The iceman was excited. “Call Sheppard Air Force Base!” he cried out. The airbase was in Wichita Falls, 20 miles to the north. The neighborhood lady paused.

Look, Up in the Sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

“That’s long distance,” she said. Calling long-distance just wasn’t done. It was very, very expensive.

She dithered, finally going into her house to call the Sherrif.

High above, in the pale blue and beyond the slight haze of summer, the contrail soared, far above sight.

What was it?

Nobody knew.

We didn’t realize that we were gazing not into the sky, but into the future.

Categories // amazement, childhood, Henrietta Texas, Looking Back

The Abandoned Road

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Dallas, Texas, 1966: On this particular day, my girlfriend and I decided to take the psilocybin before heading out. Driving the Morgan from Dallas to Shady Shores was an odd adventure. It was about thirty miles, and seemingly many days driving.

I knew of this place from years earlier. College roommates and I had lived nearby, and some scouting trip discovered an abandoned roadway that had once run atop a dam built across Lake Dallas. In a concrete building halfway out, remnants of the dam’s machinery remained, huge wheels and vast pipes, going nowhere.

Whoever these mysterious builders were, they were fickle, for after building the dam across the lake, they’d cut a hole through it, so it was no dam any longer. Just a finger of elevated land reaching toward, but not touching, a finger of land from the other side. On the elevated crest, earth and stone and even trees, and the once roadway ran, and stopped at the cut.

Just the spot for our picnic.

I recalled a time from college when the gang of us, plus the girl gang too, hiked beyond the road’s blockade, and spent an afternoon with beer and burnt hotdogs and more beer, on the crescent moon beach that formed at the end, beside the cut.

Now, above the Morgan, the day was turning overcast, the air keen and wild. I parked beneath the trees, and we hiked. It was a strange journey. Past the old spillway’s jumbled boulders, and there among the mesquite trees, we stumbled across a horrible and alarming black and orange snake, which proved to be a fragment of nylon rope.

The ground was heaving, and the trees whispered. The sky darkened, and a breeze began to blow. As we sat beside the abandoned roadway, to the west the sun peeked out, low across the lake.

The water between sparkled with flashes of God and the unseen heavens beyond this Earth. Bright flashes, as bright as the sun, and the water’s chop swirled them round and round in a pattern we could sense, and could almost see clearly.

And then clouds came in from the northwest, and the sun was covered, and the clouds drifted, a million miles above the earth, and slowly across the lake. The breeze returned, lifting the grasses around us, whispering. Then, from the clouds, rain.

Falling in parallel streaks like a Hiroshige print, going on eternally, and the lake turned its face up to receive the gentle rain.

I’m sure we returned to our homes later; unless, of course, we are still there.

Categories // adventure, All, amazement, consciousness, friends, Looking Back

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