The Adventures of Bloggard

Been Around the Block. Got Some Stories. These are Them.

  • Home
  • Archives
  • About Bloggard
  • Concise Autoblography
  • Contact

Ram Das

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Midwestern University, Wichita Falls Texas, 1965: Actually, not Ram Das, yet. Rather, it was then still Richard Alpert.

“Tune In, Turn On, Drop Out!”

I’d ransacked the North Texas State library stacks, reading up about this LSD that was making news. Harvard researchers Leary and Alpert were urging “Tune In, Turn On, Drop Out!,” and what in the world did that mean?

The psych abstracts were puzzling, describing synaesthesia, n., which means (1) “A condition where one type of stimulation evokes the sensation of another, as when the hearing of a sound produces the visualization of a color.” Or (2) “A song by Cannonball Adderly.”

Hearing a color? The smell of a picture? The feeling of a sound? Huh?

So when Richard Alpert was speaking, over at Midwestern University, I was ready to go hear it. And so was Kit Thorne.

Little did I know that the somewhat similar Anhalonium Lewinii (peyote) had been known back to the turn of the Century (that earlier one, in 1899) to worthies such as Aleister Crowley. If only I’d studied my Magick, I could have known so much more! But then, we didn’t know that Magick was abounding about us, no, not at that time.

At that time, I didn’t know that Richard Alpert would become Ram Das, that he would live up the street from me in San Anselmo 30 years later, and that even being neighbors I’d never see him again. We didn’t know that Leary would be jailed, and would then escape by levitation. Actually, there was a whole world of what we didn’t know, back in the time of my corduroy coat.

Kit was a pretty brunette, of vivacious enthusiasm, girlfriend of my sour pal, John Mahoney, the photographer who contributed the picture for my story Ralph the Cat in the Avesta magazine. But John couldn’t go, don’t recall why, though sitting in the booth at the Hob Nob, Kit begged to go, and so go she did.

When my stepfather, Dr. Strickland, heard of the venture, to my vast surprise, he decided to go as well. Either he was secretly hipper than I knew, or just palling along with me, or … well, I just don’t know what, but he and my mother and Kit and I showed up at Midwestern Auditorium on the appointed day.

The speaker was late.

On the drive up, Kit had told me of haunted adventures, overruled with sudden tears from nowhere, voices heard, ghosts seen. It fit. And it was beyond me. It seemed very dark. And years later, as the ghosts decreed, she became lost into a darkness, gone. But back then, we knew nothing, and I was half in love with Kit, just because of who she seemed and how she looked. I watched her secretly, while we waited for Alpert.

Finally, he was announced, and walked up to the podium.

Standing there, he paused for a moment.

Actually, kind of a long moment. Well, truly for more than just a moment. He stood, looking into space above the head of the audience, for a long time. A very long time. A really, really long time. It was a long time. A very really long time. Long time. Then he smiled.

“Hello,” he said. And went on to speak about LSD and the fact is I remember not one thing from that talk, but only what came after. When the talk was done, and others filing out, Kit said, “Let’s go meet him!”

Well, OK!

Up we trooped onto the stage, Dr. Strickland bringing up the rear, and Richard Alpert turned his open, Indian eyes upon us. Kit smiled up at him.

“I just wanted to show you this,” she said, holding out her hand. On the middle finger of her beautiful soft hand was a delicate ring with a tiny silver globe of fine filagree, in which tiny silver moving parts made a fine, crystaline tinkling sound.

Alpert watched the ring for a long moment, his grin growing wider as he watched. Then he reached into his pocket, drew out his closed fist.

“And I’d like to show you … this,” he said, opening his hand. And there, sitting upright upon his palm, a tiny jade buddha gazed into the vast beyond in rapt contemplation.

As I recall, my stepfather asked some questions, but I don’t know how much communication there was. As it turned out, I discovered later that my friend Lefevre, then studying art at Midwestern, had become involved in Richard Alpert’s arrival, and had whisked Alpert away to Jerry’s house, where they spent the afternoon wandering the background, watching the bark on trees for a very long time, and considering this new LSD that was in the news. Lefevre had not attended the talk; he’d stayed home to examine the tree bark in greater detail, as he explained later.

I suppose Kit and I made our way back to our homes in Denton. This must be the case. Otherwise we’d still be standing there, on the stage, in the Midwestern Auditorium.

That’s just logic, right?

Categories // All, college, Looking Back, mind

Sweeping the Snow

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Seventeen Cars for the Rock Island!

St. Louis, Winter 1967: At the Carrie Street station are fourteen tracks, lined up beside the main tracks that run around town to the Southern Pacific, the Erie, and the other lines. A local company called the “Terminal Railroad” hauls cars on these main tracks, in a big circle around the city.

“Got seventeen Rocks!” the Terminal conductor says, walking into the concrete office where the bill clerk and I do our work. He hands a bundle of Bills of Lading wrapped round with a rubber band to the bill clerk, while outside Danny and the switchmen throw the switch levers sticking up from the tracks, so that the Terminal train, which has just passed our yard and is now stopped, can back up these seventeen cars for us, the Rock Island Line, into one of our fourteen tracks.

Unhitched, those seventeen cars sit while the Terminal locomotive powers the rest of their train around the bend and out of sight.

And then it began to snow.

I never knew exactly what Bill the bill clerk did, but he spent his time inside the concrete office. I’d spend my time standing outside in the cold while the cars rolled past, writing down the car numbers as fast as I could.

If I could write these numbers as the cars passed by, then I didn’t have to walk up and down the freezing tracks to write down the numbers. From my car numbers written down and in order, Bill the bill clerk prepared a list for Danny and the switchmen.

By analysing the Bills of Lading, Bill determined that some cars were going to Kansas City — the next stop beyond St. Louis on the Rock Island Line — and that some other cars were bound for Denver or Santa Fe or Oakland. It was my job then to carry Bill’s list across the yard to Danny the switch foreman, and Danny would figure how to move the cars around into the correct order, so that the last group dropped off at Kansas City, the next group in Denver, and so on.

An engineer would then hook the switch engine to the cars, and pull them all forward, and then push them back into this track, and that track, and this other track, because that’s how you sort railroad cars. Some cars were called “pigs” because their flat beds were to be loaded with truck trailers; it stood for “piggy-back”. Other cars were called “reefers” because they were insulated, with motors on top to keep the interior refrigerated; these would be filled with perishables like frozen orange juice, or lettuce. Some cars were “tankers”, and some were plain old boxcars.

During all this switching, the switchmen, under Danny’s direction, stood at the switches. A switch is a tall iron bar sticking up from the tracks; you push or pull on the switching bar so that a section of track moves a few inches, so as to guide the incoming cars into track number four or track number five.

While the switchmen sorted cars, I returned to my desk with a copy of the switching list Danny made up, and upon my desk into a big box containing slots, numbered the same as the tracks outside, I sorted the Bills of Lading into the same order as the switchmen were sorting the cars. These Bills of Lading, in order, would go to Kansas City with the cars.

You see how many guys it takes? You see how all the jobs are divided up? You’d think that, since Bill and I had periods of time with nothing to do, as did the switchmen, that we could double on each others’ jobs. But no!

The union has penalties for that behavior. All jobs are defined and regulated by the union. Only a switchman can throw a switch. Only a yard clerk (me) can write down the numbers and sort the bills. Our jobs were protected, see, and we paid our union dues to keep it that way.

The problem was that this particular Sunday it started snowing, and soon there was an inch of snow on the tracks and switchboxes.

Mind you, this doesn’t interfere with the switchbox at all. The switchbox is a foot-square metal box, containing the gears that move the track section. Remember, the long bar that operates the switchbox is sticking four feet up into the air above the switch box with its one inch of snow.

But according to union rules, the switchmen are not required to throw a switch which has snow upon it. Instead, the switchmen can retire to huddle around the coal stove in the switch shanty, to read newspapers, shoot the breeze, and generally do nothing for the same hourly pay.

As soon as somebody sweeps the snow off the switch — a matter of four or five seconds with an ordinary broom — then the switchmen have to go back to work, moving those pigs and reefers and tankers into place for their trip to Kansas City.

Now, the person whose job includes sweeping snow off a switch is a carman. The carmen work normal business hours in the shop down at the end of track three. That’s where they repair broken cars, replace wheels, adjust brakes, grease bearings, and such maintainance work.

On this Sunday afternoon, the carmen had all gone home.

It therefore fell to Bill the bill clerk to call a carman out to the job. Now, Bill knew that many of the carmen would turn the job down. In fact he was pretty sure that the first dozen on the list — a list arranged by seniority — would turn it down.

It would have saved time if Bill could have just called carman number twelve, but that’s not permitted, as the most senior guys must be offered the (overtime) job first. A number of hours were spent, with me and the switchmen sitting idle, and then with the Terminal railroad crew and their entire train sitting idle on the main track, just passing by but blocked by our now-immobile switch engine, which our engineer couldn’t move because the switch, which the switchmen weren’t required to throw, because there was snow on the switch.

During these hours only Bill was working, tracking down one and then another of the senior carmen so they could turn down the job, as was their right and privilege. Finally Bill reached the bottom of the list and James the carman said sure, I’ll be right out.

An hour later, when James hadn’t arrived, Bill called to discover that James had fallen back asleep, while our crews and hundreds of tons of merchandise sat immobile. James apologised and again claimed that he’d be right out.

An hour later, when James still hadn’t arrived, Bill suddenly swore aloud, and throwing his clipboard across the room, he threw on his coat, grabbed the broom, and stomped across the yard, where he swept the snow from the switch in three quick strokes. The switch crew came out of the shanty to stare at Bill. Bill glared at the lot of them.

“Now throw the damn switch!” he roared.

Muttering and swearing, the switchmen marched into the cold and back to work, and later that night, twelve hours late, our train departed for Kansas City.

James the carman never did show up, but he got one day’s pay anyway, because he’d been called out. Bill had a chit filed against him for “job endangerment.” And I gained a whole new way of looking at the union.

Categories // All, amazement, buddhism, Looking Back, zen

Ruru the Guru — Paying Debts with Dreams?

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

San Francisco Yellow Pages, 1986: In the Yellow Pages that year you’d find listed “Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service” at 221-3333. If you called it you might hear this —

“Hello and thank you for calling Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service, your absolutely free telepathic answering service — at no charge whatsoever!

“I am your Host and Operator Ruru the Guru, speaking to you direct from the Himalaya Hideaway.

“You know, some people just can’t believe that we’re providing free telepathic answering service. In fact the other day me and my buddy, Babba Jamas, was coming back from the little Himalaya Convenience Store up the gulch, and one of the Sherpas that was helping us hold the rope, he asked:

“Ruru, you know when you’re dreaming?

“Well, yes, not that I ever sleep personally, but yes.

“Well, (he went on), You know how you’ll be dreaming and when you wake up sometimes you can’t remember the dreams?

“Well, of course everybody’s had that experience.

“Well, Ruru, (he went on), Where do all those dreams go? I mean, do you suppose those dreams are taken as payment for all the things that are supposed to be free, like love and sex and Third Ear Answering Service?

“Well, I never! I was speechless! I was flabbergasted! Who ever heard of such a thing!

“No messages today.”

Categories // All, fun, Looking Back, ruru the guru

Ruru the Guru — Does he Really Like Me?

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

San Francisco Yellow Pages, 1986: In the Yellow Pages that year you’d find listed “Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service” at 221-3333. If you called it you might hear this —

“Hello and thank you for calling Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service, the good-time telepathic answering service that can get you fixed up!

“I am your Host and Operator Ruru the Guru, speaking to you direct from the Himalaya Hideaway.

“You know, sometimes I think you humans do things the hard way.

“For example, on Saturday nights I work a lot in a bar off Union Street. When people start to run low I carry the message to Joe the Bartender. You may know the place. Joe always hands you a fresh one about the time you start to think about it.

“Anyway, there’s a woman in gold lame, slit skirt, and pearls down to here, she asks me:

“Ruru,” (she asks), “That guy across the way, been looking at me all night, I wonder if he really likes me?”

“I said I’d find out.

“After I spent a few seconds in his mind, I was kind of liking her looks myself! So I went back and said–

“He’d sure like to find out if he likes you!

“She said to ask him to come sit over here. So I did.

“And she sez ask him to buy me a drink. So I did, and he did.

“She sez ask him to put his arm around me. So I did, and he did. And then she starts to ask me …

“And right there I put my foot down.

“Hell, lady. He’s sitting right beside you. He looks friendly. Ask him yourself!”

Categories // All, fun, Looking Back, ruru the guru

On This Day: Dr. Livingston, I Presume?

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Dr. Livingston, I Presume?

Ujiji on Lake Tanganyika, November 10, 1871: Henry Morton Stanley was sent to Africa by his newspaper to find Scottish missionary David Livingstone.

Today he finally found him and made contact with the words: “Dr. Livingstone, I presume.”

Categories // All, Looking Back

Ruru the Guru sez “Equipment Savings Direct to You”

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

San Francisco Yellow Pages, 1986: In the Yellow Pages that year you’d find listed “Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service” at 221-3333. If you called it you might hear this —

“Hello and thank you for calling Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service, the free telepathic answering service that doesn’t cost a thing.

“I am your Host and Operator Ruru the Guru, speaking to you direct from the Himalaya Hideaway.

“You know, sometimes I think you Americans are so suspicious. Just now when I said our service is free, several thousand of you thought What’s the catch? and How do they do it?

“Really! So suspicious! OK, OK, here’s the deal …

“Look, when we deliver your messages to your friends and neighbors we deliver them by telepathy. No telephones. And we pass on the equipment savings direct to you!

“So next time you get that impulse to say something to someone and they’re not there — like Thanks! or Thinking of You! or I Love You! — don’t reach out and thump somebody. Just think it real clear and we’ll deliver it special delivery right to their head.

“Best of all, it’s free.”

Categories // All, fun, Looking Back, ruru the guru

Driving Into Winter

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Mount Shasta: Adrienne and I went for a Sunday Drive. On the map there’s this little lake called “Crystal Lake”, some few miles beyond Lake Siskiyou. A week ago we had snow on the ground, but it’s long gone now, and Sunday being bright and clear, we went to find this Crystal Lake.

Just past the Lake Siskiyou turn-off we found the road, and turned up the hill. The woods were auburn and lofty above us, and the sunlight streaming down upon the winding road.

A quarter-mile up the road, and higher on the hill, we found a sprinkling of snow beneath the shady trees. As we drove the next quarter-mile, suddenly the snow covered the road, and soon after, the road was frozen with six inches of snow.

We stopped and turned around. Crystal Lake can wait.

I’ve never before had the experience of driving from Fall into Winter. But there it was.

Categories // All, Looking Back

Ruru the Guru — A message from Uncle Joe

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

San Francisco Yellow Pages, 1986: In the Yellow Pages that year you’d find listed “Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service” at 221-3333. If you called it you might hear this —

“Hello and thank you for calling Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service, the world’s only telepathic answering service, designed to answer the question: Whatever happened to E.S.P.?

“I am your Host and Operator Ruru the Guru, speaking to you direct from the Himalaya Hideaway.

“And here are your messages for today —

“You got a message from Uncle Joe.
He just called to say hello.
And to mention Aunt Betsy’s
in the clinker again.
He sez he’s a little short on bail,
and wonders how you’re doing.

“Sometimes, I wonder, too.

“How are you doing?”

Categories // All, fun, Looking Back, ruru the guru

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • …
  • 21
  • 22
  • 23
  • 24
  • 25
  • …
  • 37
  • Next Page »

Your Fortune Cookie

  • Go ahead. Take a chance.

Our Host


Perhaps you are wondering why I have gathered all of you here.

Recent Posts

  • Getting Stronger, Seems Like
  • The Book of Hu
  • Mister Blue
  • Join Me on Social Media …

Recent Comments

  • bloggard on The Altar Boys
  • Tonja Scheer on The Altar Boys
  • Raymond J.Reiss on Calling Lonesome Cowboy Tim

Search By Keyword

Currently 605 micro-stories searchable online. Enter search words and hit return:

Search by Category

View My LinkedIn Profile

View Arthur Cronos's profile on LinkedIn

Credits and Copyright

All contents copyright (c) 2001-2026 Arthur Cronos and Voltos Industries, Mount Shasta, California. Reproduction prohibited except as noted. All rights reserved.

Webdesign by VOLTOS

** TEXT NAVIGATION **
Home * Archives * About the Bloggard * Bloggard's Concise Autoblography * Contact Us * Terms of Use * Privacy Policy * Site Map * Voltos Industries
 
 

reviews

[wprevpro_usetemplate tid=”1″]

All Contents Copyright © 2001-2019 · Webdesign by VOLTOS