The Adventures of Bloggard

Been Around the Block. Got Some Stories. These are Them.

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The Root of All Magic and Freedom

10.21.2017 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

[reprinted from my former site How to Tune a Human, March 7, 2010]

For thousands of years,  systems have existed which we might call magic, or manifestation, or self-help. The common denominator of many of these systems is that they depend upon visualization.

Some folks do well with this; other people never seem to succeed.

What do you want from such a system?

You want (a) success; (b) rapid success; (c) reliable success. Just like your Ford automobile, you want it to always start and carry you down the chosen road, to start quickly, and to operate reliably as expected.

In these various systems, different factors are touted as helping to attain success, rapidity, and reliability. These include —

  • [Read more…]

Categories // adventure, All, comfort zone, happiness, how to tune a human, law of attraction, magic, manifestation, reprogramming, self-help

On the Road to Santa Cruz

08.18.2017 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

August 18, 2011, on the road to Santa Cruz:  Duffel bag and picnic basket packed, I’m driving, on the road to Santa Cruz, where a class of Tantra Yoga teachers eagerly awaits my vast wisdom about what works best when marketing services and products via cyberspace.

For road trips, I always put myself in a light trance, programming my subconscious mind that the journey will be safe and relaxed, and quick, and that the time will be productive. And the journey is always productive. I get some brand new idea, or a realization about how to do some, or how to do something better. Works every time.

And while we’re on the subject, I’d like to share my favorite thought about traveling …

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Of course, it will take more than that to get there.” — Anonymous

Categories // adventure, All, Hypnosis, reprogramming, subconscious mind

The Poet

08.11.2017 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Henrietta, Texas, Spring 1956 — It was the sixth grade for me, and our English teacher Mrs. Lyles gave us a huge blue textbook, which was filled with short stories, and poems, mostly Lord Boron and Percy Bitch Shelley and some other people, who seemed just a bit hysterical, but it fit my proclivities just fine.

And [Read more…]

Categories // adventure, All, childhood, Looking Back, quotes, romance

Dr. Detecto Rescues a Rope

07.04.2017 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Daly City, 1989: If you read a Dashiel Hammett book about Sam Spade, or even a modern Sue Grafton book about Kinsey Milhone, you will discover that their investigations are exciting, dangerous, and apparently pay the bills. (Though Sam Spade seemingly just throws his bills into the trash.)

When I was Dr. Detecto, the private investigator, my own investigations were neither exciting, nor dangerous, nor did they pay the bills.

As proof, I respectfully submit my most exciting, dangerous, and profitable case — the Case of the Rescued Rope …

I was musing in my Geary street office one afternoon in the early fall in San Francisco. The air had just turned crisp, and I was thinking about the gubbamint and dozing off, when a tall woman walked past the window. I knew she was tall because my office was on the second floor. [Read more…]

Categories // adventure, All, comfort zone, fantasy, Looking Back

Forget Safety

07.02.2017 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Categories // adventure, All, comfort zone, fun, Handy Info, ideas, memes

Memorial Day for a Great Warrior

04.10.2017 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Mount Shasta, California, Memorial Day, May 28, 2007: My cat Percy was found in the Mendocino countryside by a short-term roommate when I lived in Mill Valley. The roommate was moving and I asked to keep the kitten.

“Sure,” said the roommate.

There we lived with Morgan, my durn ol kitty, who liked the kitten, and taught him such cat wisdom as she could. Then we moved and became trailer trash in San Rafael. Percy the kitten grew quickly into a long-legged male with yellow eyes, and a short gray coat. Together they roamed the trailer park. There Percy discovered a vile enemy. Black cat.

Black cat, and Percy had many rumbles. It was a scandal.

At the end of the day, as the sun sunk slowly over Toys ‘R Us, I’d step from the trailer and whistle loudly twice. From somewhere up the way would come wandering Morgan and Percy, tired from the day’s toil, and ready for supper.

And then we moved to San Anselmo.

Dangers of San Anselmo

We’d been invited to live with Adrienne and the dog Tulip. Morgan and Percy spent three days locked in the bathroom while Tulip went ballistic outside the door. And when Tulip became used to them living in the bathroom we introduced them all around, and as expected they became fast friends. Tulip and Percy invented a complicated and fun game which involved who could get their paws around the rungs of a chair. This game made Tulip smile.

We weren’t sure how trailer-trash cats would fare in this more upscale neighborhood, but you’d never know their origins from their behavior, as if they’d always been ritzy cats.

And then in his travels around the neighborhood, Percy discovered an evil enemy. Orange cat.

There were fabled rumbles. It was a scandal.

The Reinforcements: Tulip and Me

When the sounds of battle arose, Tulip leaped up as if electrified and ran out the door, followed swiftly by myself. There, in the distance of the driveway, the two battling cats froze, as Orange cat stared in growing horror at Tulip bearing down the driveway, and at myself on the deck.

(I waved my arms and gibbered like a wild ape and made loud growling threats, as is proper.)

Flying away into the underbrush, Orange cat beat a hasty retreat.

Percy, his tail much larger than usual, stormed grouchily into the house. We told him that he was whipping Orange cat’s butt, though sometimes that wasn’t totally clear.

The Big Yellow Truck

And so we lived, and then in time packed a household into the Big Yellow Truck, and Percy into his cat carrier, and moved to Mount Shasta. He complained all the way. Morgan had left us in San Anselmo, so she couldn’t make the ride.

Percy and Tulip enjoyed the yard, and Percy discovered that the railing and the apple tree led to the roof, and like a pirate of old, he kept a weather eye on the neighborhood.

It was not long, wandering the neighborhood, before Percy discovered a dreadful enemy. Striped cat.

There were wild rumbles. It was a scandal.

Warfare in Mount Shasta

He’s been happy in Mount Shasta. He likes the weather, except for the snow, which he blames on me, and he likes the water. He likes watching the birds. He leaps the gate to the fence, and comes and goes, and in the twilight can usually be found on the front porch steps, watching passers-by. When he’s not there, I whistle loudly twice, and then I call his special call.

This is his name with a loud gargle in the middle, and then “What you doin, boy?” These sound wacky and perplexes the neighbors no doubt. However, the sound carries, and he comes trotting from some errand in the vacant-lot woods behind George Brown’s house.

In the night, he likes to slip into my room where he snores on my chest until I fall asleep, and then, offended when I begin my own snoring, he scratches at the door so I have to awaken and let him out.

Then he goes to Adrienne’s room, and there entertains her during the night.

Nemesis

Today, he appeared to have an intestinal blockage, as he’s had before. He’s fifteen, which is latter days for a male cat. I found a vet willing to help us on this holiday, and so I bagged him up in the carrier, and assured him that he’d be right as rain soon.

But the vet had other news. Serious and bad news. It was something else. Percy was very lethargic. In my way, I asked him if he could get well. He said no.

I stayed with him while the deadly injection made its way to slow and still his breathing. Tough fellow, his heart beat on and on, growing weaker. I stroked his face the way he likes, and I told him how grateful I’ve been for his hanging out with me all these years. I reminded him of our many adventures. And finally, he was gone.

The world is a smaller place without him. Percy was his name. A great warrior. My good buddy.

Categories // adventure, All, animals, friends, Looking Back, Mount Shasta

How to Make a tiny Zipgun

02.13.2017 by bloggard // 1 Comment

Henrietta, Texas, 1958: Billy Ray Johnson showed me how. You’ll need a shotgun shell, a bicycle spoke, a Kleenex, and some matches. Follow these instructions at your own risk.

Open the paper end of the shotgun shell — carefully — and take out the shot and the charge of gunpowder. Do not strike or mess with the firing cap on the metal end, because [Read more…]

Categories // adventure, All, friends, fun, Looking Back

You Got to Trust Yourself

08.22.2016 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Holiday Inn, Denton Texas, September 1965: James Cato was a cajun from Lake Charles, Louisiana. He had a wooden leg from his youth. He and a friend were drinking beer in the street outside a bar, when a speeding car lost control. James pushed his friend out of the way, but his leg was crushed between a parked car and the speeding car. So he was crippled for life.

He’d played guitar at the Grand Old Opry in Nashville, once upon a time, when Elvis was there. James was certain that Elvis was a tee-totaller. “I’ve got my first time,” he said, “to [Read more…]

Categories // adventure, All, bidness

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