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How I Became Cronos

03.13.2011 by bloggard // 1 Comment

The Glyph of Cronos (Sign of Saturn)Tiny apartment near Carl and Cole, San Francisco, March, 1984: Approaching my 40th birthday, again I began thinking about changing my name.

I’d been born ‘Richard French’, and known that way back in Henrietta Texas, in college, and on my travels, but ever since I was 30 I’d been thinking about changing my name.

My theory was that we humans tend to ‘act out’ our name. The only reason that this is not always so totally obvious is that each person’s idea of what his name means is very personal, quite idiosyncratic, and not always visible to an outsider. I figured that, if this were so, maybe it would be a good idea to consciously choose the name you’d like to act out.

Although I’d had this theory for ten years, I’d never found a good name to choose.

Until now.

Now, my 40th birthday looming, again I thought I’d like a new act, and one day I thought of the name:

Arthur Cronos.

I liked this name because it was after Arthur, Lord of all Brittany, and after Jupiter’s father, Cronos, so it had classical elements. My initials would be ‘AC’, as in electricity, and when I signed my name (‘ACronos’), it would mean ‘outside of time.’

I was delighted, and so I told my then wife Lori that I was going to change my name to Arthur Cronos.

“That’s not a very nice name,” she said.

“Oh,” I said, and went away for awhile. About a week later I came back to her and said, “You know, I’ve decided not to change my name to Arthur Cronos.”

“No?” she said.

“No,” I said, “I’ve decided to change my name to Traktor Topaz instead.”

“Oh,” she said, and she went away for about a week. Then she came up to me.

“You know,” she said, “Arthur Cronos is not so bad.”

Categories // All, Looking Back, Views

Tutti-Fruity

03.13.2011 by bloggard // 4 Comments

When my mother told me this story it touched my heart, because in a way, it was part of who she was for the rest of her life …

Henrietta, Texas, Summer 1922: My mother, Margaret Hurn, known as Maggie, was six years old, and very excited that Saturday. For the first time, riding down the dirt road in the wagon with her mother and father, Maggie was going to town.

She had a nickel in her hand. She held it tight.

Eight miles seems so little now, for any car can cruise the paved road in just a few minutes. But on that day, on the dirt road in the wagon behind the horse, it took several hours, with the sun high above and dust rising to float in the air behind them, and she was holding that nickel all the way.

She had a plan.

Tutti-Fruity ice cream. That was the plan. A nickel would buy a big double-dip ice-cream cone at the Henrietta drugstore. The soda fountain there had a marble top, and fancy stools that spun around with shiny red seats. Behind the counter, lined up before the huge mirror, was a shelf of colored bottles. Every kind of delight, in town, right there at the soda fountain.

Maggie wanted Tutti-Fruity.

She was shy about going in, but her father said, “Go on,” and gave her a nudge, so she edged slowly through the door. Instantly dismayed because everything was so fancy, she waited, holding her nickel, and before long, the big man behind the counter noticed her and leaned over.

“What would you like, little girl?” he said. Perhaps a bit deaf, he spoke loudly, and it startled Maggie. She cast her eyes down.

“Tutti-Fruity,” she said softly.

“What’s that?” he said. “What would you like?” Maggie felt suddenly dismayed, embarrassed, as if scolded.

“Tutti-Fruity,” she said softly.

“I can’t hear you!” the man said loudly, “What do you want?” A well of tears blurred her vision.

“Tutti-Fruity,” she whispered.

“What?!!” he demanded. “Speak up!”

But now it was too late. Confused, ashamed, she ran crying from the store.

All the way home, on the long journey up the dirt road as the late shadows grew longer across the road, sitting in the wagon, she held the nickel in her hand.

Categories // All, childhood, family, Henrietta Texas, Looking Back, the farm, time

Enter Ruru the Guru

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

San Francisco, 1981: It was actually because of Lonesome Cowboy Tim.

Lonesome Cowboy Tim was the alternate persona of a disk jockey who’d emigrated from Houston to San Francisco, back back in the days of answering machines, before all this voicemail foolishness.

There was a phone number, and when you called it was answered by Lonesome Cowboy Tim, saying “Howdy, Buckaroos!” and then he’d recount some adventure that he and the prairie critters had experienced recently.

Since it was a single line on an answering machine, after some weeks you’d find the line always busy. Then the number would be changed, and you’d have to somehow find it again. This was a challenge, because it was purely word of mouth, yet somehow we always found Lonesome Cowboy Tim.

When Network started up the Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service, we’d not intended to have a phone number at all, since the answering service was telepathic, but the phonebook rep insisted we had to list a phone number.

So I set up an answering machine with Ruru the Guru. Here’s what it said …

“Hello! And thank you for calling Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service. I am your host and operator, Ruru the Guru, speaking to you direct from our Himalaya Hideaway.

“You know, many people have telepathed in recently, asking me, ‘Ruru, just how does one leave a message for Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service?’

“Well, it’s very simple. It’s just like using a telephone. You just lift your little mental receiver, and you listen for your mental dial-tone …

“Awwooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!

“Then you just mentally dial my number — 426 299737 19937 49972 29973 299 503 — and then I’ll answer, any time, any place. Then you just leave your a mental message for anybody, whether you know them or not, and I’ll deliver it right inside their head, immediately!

“Just remember: it’s mental.”

Categories // All, fun, Looking Back, ruru the guru

Basic Buddhism

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

India, Long Ago: Gautama Siddhartha sat beneath the Bo tree, and stubbornly refused to rise until he’d reached enlightenment. (He’d tried many other things in that past.) One day, he reached enlightenment.

The enlightenment he attained permitted him to express the basic problem of living–which is how a person can gain freedom from suffering–and his realization is summarized in four points, which are called “The Four Noble Truths” …

  1.  Our experience of living often consists of suffering. For example, we experience suffering from losses, illness, hunger, and death. The suffering comes from our insistent mental reaction against the “bad” thing. That is, we insistently desire to have a thing that was lost, and so we experience suffering. (As an example, you throw away a piece of paper and it is lost but you do not suffer. But you lose the deed to your home and you insistently desire that the situation be different, and you suffer. But if you give away the deed to your home to your child, then you do not suffer.)
    .
  2.  The suffering comes from the “grasping desire” for the thing lost. It is demanding that “what is” be different, and then suffering because it is not different.
    .
  3.  And the answer? To eliminate your suffering, eliminate the grasping desire.
    .
  4.  To eliminate the grasping desire, follow eight important rules. In these rules (called the Eight-fold Path) are proscriptions against the things that often result in unhappiness (such as killing other folks), and prescriptions to engage in practices such as meditation, to learn to still the mind (and thus still grasping desire).

Want to Stop Suffering? Here’s How …

What this means in more modern language is that suffering comes from RESISTANCE to what is. For example, mentally *grasping* after something that you do not have right now. Or mentally *resisting* something that you don’t like. When you compulsively resist, you create–in your mind and in your experience of life–the thing we call suffering.

If you can relearn the mental habit of resisting what is, grasping after what you don’t have, and resisting things you dislike … the suffering in your life and mind fades away. Often immediately.

And remember, those troublesome mental habits are only habits, and habits can be changed. Presuming that (a) you *want* to change the habit, and (b) you’re willing to put in a little bit of practice.

Now, in truth, sometimes you can simply *decide* to let go and cease resistance.

But for most of us, years or decades of bad habits require us to put in a little effort, to *practice* the new way.

Even Shorter:

Want to stop suffering? If yes, then (a) adopt the basis (grasping causes suffering) as a working theory, (b) make an ongoing attempt to increase your skill at “letting go,” and (c) it helps if you learn how to allow your mind to go still, which helps a lot, and which we usually call “meditation.” The Buddhists describe your new understanding and your attempt at relearning as having “Right Mindfulness,” and it’s one item in the Eightfold Path mentioned above.

If you understand the cause and the cure (given here) … if you will attempt to change the grasping … then your suffering will fade away.

And it feels really, really good.

Get it? (Got it.) Good!

 

 

Categories // All, buddhism, enjoying life, Looking Back, making changes, meditation, personal growth, Problems, Wisdom Log, zen

So Long — Robert Palmer, Simply Irresistable

03.13.2011 by bloggard // 2 Comments

Robert Palmer -- Belting it Out

Paris: British rock singer Robert Palmer died today of heart attack. Known for his hits “Work to make it Work”, “Addicted to Love”, and “Simply Irresistable”, Palmer was 54.

His first hit album and single hit the charts thirty years ago (“Sneakin’ Sally through the Alley”), and more recently, his “Addicted to Love” video, with miniskirted models strumming guitars, was an all-time favorite MTV clip, drawing mucho grumbing from the feminists.

Of late a resident of Switzerland, in recent weeks Palmer had been working on a video in Britain. Always appearing in stylish suits, Palmer showed a sense of class remarkably absent from the dirty-boy image cultivated by lotso musicians who never rocked half as hard. Palmer was named ‘Best Dressed Male Artist’ in 1990 by Rolling Stone magazine.

“I loved the music,” Palmer reported, “but the excesses of rock ‘n’ roll never really appealed to me at all. I couldn’t see the point of getting up in front of a lot of people when you weren’t in control of your wits.”

Palmer wrote some great songs. Often these hit the charts more forcefully when recorded by other artists, such as Rod Stewart, but Palmer’s records rock you unmercifully. Other than being a fan, I know little about him, except perhaps what kind of girl he finds ‘Simply Irresistable’. In the video, a slender girl in a black dress dances to the music with a completely deadpan expression. In this video, she’s been multiplied to look like many, many swaying mannekins.

I’ll miss Robert Palmer. I wish he’d stayed. And now I will never find out the answer to my question. In ‘Simply Irresistable’, he sings:

“She’s so fine; there’s no telling where the money went.”

What the hell does that mean?

Categories // Looking Back

The Wacko

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

San Rafael, Summer 1996: Although the plan bombed later, I wanted to own my own home, and having very little money, decided to start with a houseboat or a house-trailer.

Sausalito has lots of houseboats, but frankly the mud beneath the dock stinks real bad at low tide, so yuck!

Marin County
Marin county, the most expensive real estate in California, so why was I living there? The answer: careful lack of planning. I’d developed my business in San Francisco, then moved across the bridge to Marin because Adrienne hated the Haight; too noisy, she said. When paying rent, $1400 in Sausalito was about the same as $1400 in San Francisco. But buying a house was out of the question, in these latitudes.

So why not start with a mini-house, save up more money, then parlay up to a small fixer-upper, then up to better?

Marin land values are high, so there are only four trailer parks: One in Olema (too far), one off Highway 101 (nothing available), one near the bay (that mud aroma again), and one in San Rafael, where I found the house-trailer that Waneta was selling.

Waneta the Heavy Smoker
A heavy smoker, Waneta had laid a gummy layer over the interior, and the curtains were in tatters, but she accepted my terms, and I owned a tiny home. I bought file cabinets and elevated my bed off the floor, and somehow fitted in my working desk and musical equipment.

While living here, I produced the MultiString Shopper. With a classified ad in Bass Player magazine, I offered to buy and sell used Stick brand musical instruments, because there was previously no existing market for used instruments. I made a pretty layout, and forced a free lesson onto one page, and on the reverse listed the instruments for sale. Popular with musicians, and most unpopular with Stick Enterprises, the company selling new Stick brand instruments. But that’s another story.

Meanwhile, the trailer was comfy enough in the winter, but on summer afternoons it was like sitting inside a waffle iron, so I started engineering. First I built a wooden framework with two arms between which I stretched a tarpaulin. This arrangement provided a kind of parasol for the trailer during the hot afternoons.

I Decided to Try Water Cooling
Next, I decided to try water cooling, so I bought a hose and a water-sprinkler and rigged it up on the roof. When I turned it on, it created a nice cool mist, and a big circle of coolth. It did sprinkle on the road, so all the cars passing got wet, but you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few dishes, you know?

And so it was that, as I was up on the ladder, attempting to adjust the sprinkler system to act more refined, that I looked over the top of the trailer and could see Tom, the rugged contractor-type guy who ran the trailer park. He was standing in the middle of the road, legs wide, arms crossed over his chest, wearing a plaid short-sleeved shirt and his usual crew cut.

He was shaking his head in wonderment.

Our eyes met, across the top of the trailer. An irate expression crossed his face. He said, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

It was then that I realized that I was a wacko.

Categories // Looking Back

Packing Up Like Gypsies

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

San Anselmo, August 29 2003: My son-in-law Joe is huge, with a shaved head and a little tail of hair. When Adrienne first saw him, she was aghast at her daughter Celina’s choice. But Adrienne has long since come around. Joe is great.And Joe is massively strong, so I am again delighted to have him helping me to pack the Big Yellow Truck. This will be our second and final trip, hauling home, office, shop, and warehouse to Mount Shasta, our new home as of next week. Like gypsies? Well, perhaps a bit more stuff.

Nearly everything except the beds and the shop tools is packed up in boxes. We’ve got dollys. We’ve got those coarse grey blankets to protect things, and plenty of bright yellow nylon rope. We’ve got a system of dots: Red means storage, green means shop, yellow means house. I tell you we are organized!

And by the end of the day, plenty tired. Ah, the joys of moving day!

Categories // Looking Back

So Long — Hear that Lonesome Whistle?

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

The Man in Black
June Carter

Nashville, September 2003: At age 71, singer Johnny Cash died today at Baptist Hospital. The medical report will say complications from diabetes resulting in respiratory failure. Friends will say he died from mourning the loss of his wife, June Carter, who passed away in May.

I hear that train a-rolling, it’s a-rolling round the bend
I ain’t seen the sunshine since I don’t know when
I’m stuck in Folsom Prison and time keeps dragging on
And I hear that whistle blowing … down to San Antone.

When I was just a baby my mamma told me: Son,
always be a good boy; don’t ever play with guns.
But I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
When I hear that train a-pulling, I hang my head and cry.

I bet there’s rich folks riding, in their fancy shining cars;
They’re probably drinking coffee and smoking big cigars.
But I know I had it coming, I know I can’t be free;
But I keep on keep a-moving, well that’s what tortures me.

If they’d free me from this prison, if that railroad train was mine;
You bet I’d move it on a little further down the line.
Far from Folsom Prison, that’s where I long to stay
And I’d let that lonesome whistle … blow my blues away.

I think of Johnny Cash, lots of nights. A funny thing about our new home in Mount Shasta — a railroad runs through it. Amtrak comes whistling through, the deep two-toned sound echoing from the hills, and eternal long freight trains clattering in the night.

Does it wake you?

No, it’s soothing.

The Katy Line

I’ve missed this sound, and hearing it again feels like home. When I was a child, the Katy line ran south of town. Katy means ‘MKT’, or Missouri Kansas Texas railroad. When the wind blew from the south, the soft clatter of the boxcars floated into my bedroom, and sometimes the far-off whistle.

Does anything capture lonely and vast space like that sound? And did anybody capture the lonely and vast spirit like Johnny Cash?

I think not.

Categories // Looking Back

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