The Adventures of Bloggard

Been Around the Block. Got Some Stories. These are Them.

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Ruru the Guru — Paying Debts with Dreams?

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

San Francisco Yellow Pages, 1986: In the Yellow Pages that year you’d find listed “Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service” at 221-3333. If you called it you might hear this —

“Hello and thank you for calling Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service, your absolutely free telepathic answering service — at no charge whatsoever!

“I am your Host and Operator Ruru the Guru, speaking to you direct from the Himalaya Hideaway.

“You know, some people just can’t believe that we’re providing free telepathic answering service. In fact the other day me and my buddy, Babba Jamas, was coming back from the little Himalaya Convenience Store up the gulch, and one of the Sherpas that was helping us hold the rope, he asked:

“Ruru, you know when you’re dreaming?

“Well, yes, not that I ever sleep personally, but yes.

“Well, (he went on), You know how you’ll be dreaming and when you wake up sometimes you can’t remember the dreams?

“Well, of course everybody’s had that experience.

“Well, Ruru, (he went on), Where do all those dreams go? I mean, do you suppose those dreams are taken as payment for all the things that are supposed to be free, like love and sex and Third Ear Answering Service?

“Well, I never! I was speechless! I was flabbergasted! Who ever heard of such a thing!

“No messages today.”

Categories // All, fun, Looking Back, ruru the guru

It’s Fall with a Vengeance

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Mount Shasta: The pines and cedars are ever green, of course. But the birch on the front lawn has burst into a pale yellow, and now a million tiny perfect leaves swirl in heaps upon the lawn. The dogs root and sniff, suspicious.

In the back yard, the apple tree is turning, and the pear tree close behind. The leaves on the holly are still deep green, and the bright red berries say Yule must be on the way.

What is Brother North Wind’s secret?

(Brother North Wind’s secret is revealed in the best novel in the world, which is “Little, Big” by John Crowley. Think ye some other novel better? Humppf! Indeed. How little big you know.)

One thinks of the mountains as filled with pine and cedar and spruce, and sure they grow tall above the homes in plenty. But the hills and the yards are aflame with thousands of trees whose names I do not know.

One thing sure: It’s fall.

Categories // Looking Back

Law 23 of Persistance

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

This is a simple law of nature, but one which is very handy:

If You Persist, You’ll Win.

That’s it.

In almost every situation, we humans have this one Freedom which we often overlook. It is this: We can try again.

This might not sound like much, but if you think about it, it’s clear this means you have the freedom to keep trying until you succeed.

In other words, when trying something new, it’s common to fail, perhaps repeatedly; that’s how we learn what doesn’t work, and what does.

Probably the commonest cause of “failure” is that the guy stops attempting, and so never gets past the errors and into the winning actions.

This doesn’t mean that you should always keep trying. Sometimes you gotta know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away, know when to run. The law of persistance doesn’t say you should persist; it just says that if you do persist, you’ll win.

It raises the question: What does “winning” mean?

The best definition I’ve heard is that if you do what you intend to do, you’ve won. If you intend to walk to the bank, and you walk there, you won. If you intend to not eat chocolate cake, and you don’t eat any, you won.

But once you’ve decided upon your strategy, decided upon what you intend to do, the most powerful mantram you can have, to rekindle your intent, to keep your spirits high, to keep you working through the failures, is this: “If you persist, you’ll win. If you persist, you’ll win. If you persist. you’ll win.”

For these words I thank Ron Cook of St. Louis, in 1967.

Knowing this important secret of the universe, go forth and prosper.

Categories // Looking Back

Law 23 of Luxury

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

This is a simple law of nature, but one which is very handy:

The One True Luxury in Life is Time.

That’s it.

Assuming that you have talent, apply yourself, and have reasonable luck, you can build a business, create a monument, do something wonderful.

In this endeavor, you may require money, people, knowledge, natural resources. Assuming you have talent, apply yourself, and have reasonable luck, there is no particular shortage of any of these things in the universe. For all practical purposes, from your point of view these things are unlimited. That is, if you have talent, apply yourself, and have reasonable luck, you can obtain pretty much any amount of these things. So you can build a business, create a monument, do something wonderful.

But, for practical purposes, there is one thing in the Universe which is absolutely limited: Your time.

We don’t know how much you’ve got, but we do know that when you’ve used it up, there is no more. Therefore this is the most precious thing in your Universe. More precious than gold, more precious than fame, more precious than water.

If you’ve got lots of time, you must be rich.

But what if you spend all your time on … stuff? What if you spend all your time moving toward something, but hardly any of your time being here? What if your time is not enjoyed? What if you’re spending time doing stuff you don’t like?

You are spending the most precious thing in your Universe. Is this wise?

Spend wisely: Planning with care, live the life you have. The one true luxury is time.

Knowing this important secret of the universe, go forth and prosper.

Categories // Looking Back

Ruru the Guru — Does he Really Like Me?

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

San Francisco Yellow Pages, 1986: In the Yellow Pages that year you’d find listed “Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service” at 221-3333. If you called it you might hear this —

“Hello and thank you for calling Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service, the good-time telepathic answering service that can get you fixed up!

“I am your Host and Operator Ruru the Guru, speaking to you direct from the Himalaya Hideaway.

“You know, sometimes I think you humans do things the hard way.

“For example, on Saturday nights I work a lot in a bar off Union Street. When people start to run low I carry the message to Joe the Bartender. You may know the place. Joe always hands you a fresh one about the time you start to think about it.

“Anyway, there’s a woman in gold lame, slit skirt, and pearls down to here, she asks me:

“Ruru,” (she asks), “That guy across the way, been looking at me all night, I wonder if he really likes me?”

“I said I’d find out.

“After I spent a few seconds in his mind, I was kind of liking her looks myself! So I went back and said–

“He’d sure like to find out if he likes you!

“She said to ask him to come sit over here. So I did.

“And she sez ask him to buy me a drink. So I did, and he did.

“She sez ask him to put his arm around me. So I did, and he did. And then she starts to ask me …

“And right there I put my foot down.

“Hell, lady. He’s sitting right beside you. He looks friendly. Ask him yourself!”

Categories // All, fun, Looking Back, ruru the guru

Big Day for Traktor on Amazon.Com!

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Amazon.Com: Today Amazon announced a mongo extension to their book search, because now you can search for words appearing in the text of the books.

Naturally, humbo as ever, I mediately searched for “Traktor Topaz” (my stage name), and by gosh there in American Basses, by Jim Roberts (former editor of Bass Player magazine), you find described the Mobius Megatar touchstyle basses that I make!

You can do a search on Amazon for ‘Traktor Topaz’ or ‘Mobius Megatar’, to see a nice picture of the page along with a picture of the instrument, but here’s what it says …

“MOBIUS MEGATAR”

“A mobius strip is a one-sided surface that was discovered by German mathematician August Mobius in 1858. A Mobius Megatar is a 12-string instrument that was conceived by musician Henri DuPont in 1997, and put into production by a team that included Col. Reg Thompson (RAF, retired), Bruce Sexauer, and Traktor Topaz.

“It has six bass and six melody strings; the bass strings can be tuned as a standard six-string bass (BEADGC), or in the inverted-fifths system used on the Stick, for players familiar with that system [see Stick]. The melody strings are usually tuned in fourths.

“Unlike the Stick, the Mobius Megatar is modular, with a small body in which a variety of pickups and bridges can be mounted, and a separate neck. It incorporates the Buzz Feiten intonation system, which uses nut and saddle offsets to created a compensated, or “stretch” tuning that sounds better than conventional tuning.

“Instruments in the TrueTapper series are made of alder and maple; MaxTapper models have a mahogany neck with rosewood fingerboard and a sapele body. The ToneWeaver series features the Ralph Novak fanned-fret system, with scale lengths ranging from 35 1/2″ to 31″ for the highest [see Novax]. On the MidiTapper model, an optical pickup provides MIDI-interface capabilities. All models are equipped with the patented MegStrap, which holds the instrument in the preferred near-vertical playing position.

“Whether or not the recent proliferation of two-handed tapping instruments signals the “Touch-Style Revolution” proclaimed by the Mobius Megatar company remains to be seen, but these instruments do open up new creative vistas for some bassists.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself!

Categories // Looking Back

Powers of Ten

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Going from mongo-big numbers, down to teentsy-weentsy numbers is always hard to fathom, for such as the Bloggard. But they say a picture is worth a thousand rodeos, so without adoing further, let’s visit some real big and real small pictures …

Lotto Space

View the Milky Way at 10 million light years from the Earth. Then move through space towards the Earth in orders of magnitude until you reach a tall oak tree just outside the National High Magnetic Field Laboratory in Tallahassee, Florida.

After that, move from the actual size of a leaf into a microscopic world that reveals leaf cell walls, the cell nucleus, chromatin, DNA, and the subatomic universe of electrons and protons.

It’s here: The Universe from big to teentsy.

Categories // Looking Back

Law 23 of Business Problems

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

This is a simple law of nature, but one which is very handy:

Every Business has One of Four Problems: Employees, Capital, Machinery, or Inventory

That’s it.

Some businesses have more than one of these problems. Problems aren’t necessarily bad, but the problems do need good solutions if the enterprise is to flourish. If mismanaged, employees will shipwreck you. So will mismanaging your capital, machinery, or inventory.

It’s something to consider when planning a business venture. If you can solve these problems, and if you can locate customers and market successfully to them, the business might do very well. There’s more to life than running a business, but a business can be a good way to finance your life, and lots of people enjoy the challenge.

The astute reader will say, “Oh, but what about personal services businesses?” For example, dogwalkers and bookkeepers and barbers and lawyers. These businesses do not necessarily require any significant amounts of employees, nor capital, nor machinery, nor inventory.

In these cases, you are selling your time, and time is the only commodity in the entire universe which is absolutely limited to you. You are not obtaining the leverage afforded by employees, capital, machinery, or inventory, so in this case the best plan is to (a) earn a lot of money for your time, relative to your needs; (b) enjoy the thing you are doing; and (c) stash away and invest for a rainy day.

Knowing this important secret of the universe, go forth and prosper.

Categories // bidness, Handy Info, Law 23, Looking Back, Problems, Wisdom Log

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