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Uncle Esty

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Hurnville, Texas, Autumn 1955: Born Pfeiffer I. Estlach he was, of German family, but when emigrating to the United States, they’d made the name more ‘American’ by translating it. East Lake it meant, and so Eastlake their name became. Pfeiffer I. Eastlake married my mother’s sister, the beauty, Rosemary, and so became my Uncle Esty.

World War II fell upon them all, and like his peers, Pfeiffer had joined the army. I don’t know where he served, nor how it went for him, save that he came back. He was a small, compact man, slight but durable, with bright blue eyes and blonde hair. If he fought the Germans in the war, I’m sure he gave it his best, for in the photographs he looked very dashing in the uniform. However, I’d guess they would have sent him to the South Pacific, so that he wouldn’t have to shoot some cousin.

As a child I must have first met him at my grandparents farm, for there I most remember him. On this particular Autumn morning we had to find some water, out in a field. Why? I don’t know. He cut a thin green branch from a young tree, and made a Y-shaped wooden device, and on the long arm, he mounted the cap from a fountain pen. Then, holding the two arms inside his hands he paced across the field, watching for the long arm to turn down.

Turn down it did. Dig there we did. Water we found.

Rosemary had given birth to the two boys, Bobby and Danny, and with them I ran through the woods, explored the barns and granaries, trudged the fields. We learned to hunt rabbits, and how to handle rifles. Uncle Esty showed us.

They moved from their Denton home to Wichita Falls, a larger town just up the road from Henrietta where I lived with my mother. Uncle Esty was, at that time, an insurance Agent, and drove a white Studebaker with a red-and-white sign painted on the doors, saying ‘State Farm.’ I asked him why he had a sign on his car.

“That makes it deductible,” he said.

I didn’t know what that meant. Now I do, and I know he probably could have just deducted it without the sign, but scrupulous and exact he was. I suppose he adored Rosemary once upon a time, but she seemed hard on him, hard on the boys, to me. Perhaps it was that my mother was more lax.

Visiting them in Wichita Falls, I learned about chili dogs. I bought a book and hypnotized my cousin Bobby. It seemed amazing, forbidden, dark and mysterious. There were games and tents and ropes and a huge and ugly bulldog named Kip.

Rosemary was the secretary to Dr. Hoggard, the pastor of a big Methodist church, so we were very Christian, oh yes we were. And it was great to spend a weekend there, not because of the church which was huge, cavernous, impressive, and boring, but because afterward, every week, we had lunch at Luby’s Cafeteria!

One Sunday, back at their home after Luby’s, we were changing from our church clothes, and an animated discussion broke out about something. My cousin Dan was imploring Uncle Esty in earnest tones and the two boys and I followed Uncle Esty out the kitchen door and up past the flower gardens to the front of the house, while on the nearby larger street a parade of cars whispered past.

My Uncle Esty unlooped the garden hose and prepared to water the roses. He stopped. Looked down at young Danny.

“Say!” Uncle Esty said, “You don’t have any pants on.”

Danny stopped in mid-sentence, looking down to discover he was wearing only his underwear. He shot a nervous look at all the cars driving past and ran pell-mell back into the house. Uncle Esty turned on the water and began to sprinkle the rosebed.

“Hmm!” he said.

Uncle Esty seemed forever patient to me. He was smart, efficient, worldly. He belonged to the Masonic Lodge and wore the ring. He smoked a pipe.

Of course the boys grew up. They joined DeMolays which is some Masonic thing, and went to high school. I’d graduated and gone off to college, and traveled to other states far away. I read books about esoteric practices like meditation and stress, and drove cars for long distances, and Rosemary died.

Esty was alone for a time, and seemed to shrink. Their house was haunted by Rosemary, who wasn’t there. Esty remained.

Returning for a visit, I stopped to see him. His health had declined, his heart was in trouble. He was the same precise man, but slower and sad, even when he told me that he’d met a dear woman he liked a lot. It had been a close call with his heart. He was trying to move forward. I tried to tell him what I’d read about meditation, and how it might help, and …

“I just do what the doctor tells me,” he said.

Soon after, I heard that he had married the dear woman. And then before long he died.

Bobby and Danny, young men now, were forbidden the house. His Masonic Ring, personal effects, photographs, mementos — all appropriated. The dear woman had it all. Perhaps it was a business with her; I don’t know.

A lifetime of doing what was right, as best he could. Of course he would just do what the doctor told him.

A good man. My Uncle Esty.

Categories // All, college, fun, Hypnosis, Looking Back

Ram Das

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Midwestern University, Wichita Falls Texas, 1965: Actually, not Ram Das, yet. Rather, it was then still Richard Alpert.

“Tune In, Turn On, Drop Out!”

I’d ransacked the North Texas State library stacks, reading up about this LSD that was making news. Harvard researchers Leary and Alpert were urging “Tune In, Turn On, Drop Out!,” and what in the world did that mean?

The psych abstracts were puzzling, describing synaesthesia, n., which means (1) “A condition where one type of stimulation evokes the sensation of another, as when the hearing of a sound produces the visualization of a color.” Or (2) “A song by Cannonball Adderly.”

Hearing a color? The smell of a picture? The feeling of a sound? Huh?

So when Richard Alpert was speaking, over at Midwestern University, I was ready to go hear it. And so was Kit Thorne.

Little did I know that the somewhat similar Anhalonium Lewinii (peyote) had been known back to the turn of the Century (that earlier one, in 1899) to worthies such as Aleister Crowley. If only I’d studied my Magick, I could have known so much more! But then, we didn’t know that Magick was abounding about us, no, not at that time.

At that time, I didn’t know that Richard Alpert would become Ram Das, that he would live up the street from me in San Anselmo 30 years later, and that even being neighbors I’d never see him again. We didn’t know that Leary would be jailed, and would then escape by levitation. Actually, there was a whole world of what we didn’t know, back in the time of my corduroy coat.

Kit was a pretty brunette, of vivacious enthusiasm, girlfriend of my sour pal, John Mahoney, the photographer who contributed the picture for my story Ralph the Cat in the Avesta magazine. But John couldn’t go, don’t recall why, though sitting in the booth at the Hob Nob, Kit begged to go, and so go she did.

When my stepfather, Dr. Strickland, heard of the venture, to my vast surprise, he decided to go as well. Either he was secretly hipper than I knew, or just palling along with me, or … well, I just don’t know what, but he and my mother and Kit and I showed up at Midwestern Auditorium on the appointed day.

The speaker was late.

On the drive up, Kit had told me of haunted adventures, overruled with sudden tears from nowhere, voices heard, ghosts seen. It fit. And it was beyond me. It seemed very dark. And years later, as the ghosts decreed, she became lost into a darkness, gone. But back then, we knew nothing, and I was half in love with Kit, just because of who she seemed and how she looked. I watched her secretly, while we waited for Alpert.

Finally, he was announced, and walked up to the podium.

Standing there, he paused for a moment.

Actually, kind of a long moment. Well, truly for more than just a moment. He stood, looking into space above the head of the audience, for a long time. A very long time. A really, really long time. It was a long time. A very really long time. Long time. Then he smiled.

“Hello,” he said. And went on to speak about LSD and the fact is I remember not one thing from that talk, but only what came after. When the talk was done, and others filing out, Kit said, “Let’s go meet him!”

Well, OK!

Up we trooped onto the stage, Dr. Strickland bringing up the rear, and Richard Alpert turned his open, Indian eyes upon us. Kit smiled up at him.

“I just wanted to show you this,” she said, holding out her hand. On the middle finger of her beautiful soft hand was a delicate ring with a tiny silver globe of fine filagree, in which tiny silver moving parts made a fine, crystaline tinkling sound.

Alpert watched the ring for a long moment, his grin growing wider as he watched. Then he reached into his pocket, drew out his closed fist.

“And I’d like to show you … this,” he said, opening his hand. And there, sitting upright upon his palm, a tiny jade buddha gazed into the vast beyond in rapt contemplation.

As I recall, my stepfather asked some questions, but I don’t know how much communication there was. As it turned out, I discovered later that my friend Lefevre, then studying art at Midwestern, had become involved in Richard Alpert’s arrival, and had whisked Alpert away to Jerry’s house, where they spent the afternoon wandering the background, watching the bark on trees for a very long time, and considering this new LSD that was in the news. Lefevre had not attended the talk; he’d stayed home to examine the tree bark in greater detail, as he explained later.

I suppose Kit and I made our way back to our homes in Denton. This must be the case. Otherwise we’d still be standing there, on the stage, in the Midwestern Auditorium.

That’s just logic, right?

Categories // All, college, Looking Back, mind

Welcome to the Hob Nob

03.13.2011 by bloggard // 2 Comments

Denton, Texas, 1960’s: At North Texas State University (now called University of North Texas), Larry Burns and his father ran a coffee-house across from the English Building. It was called The Hob Nob. This place was home to some of us. Maybe it was your home, too.

I used to hang out with fellow artistes and literati Paul Miner, John B., and Billy Bucher. Paul drew pictures and wrote stories. John wrote stories and edited the school’s literary magazine. Billy played jazz music and wrote stories. I wrote stories.

All of us drank a lot of coffee and gabbed for hours and hours at the Hob Nob. We had a crew of friends — Rex May, John Mahoney, Larry Pine, Tex Allen, John Hill, Camilla Carr, Michael Murphy, and lots more.

The cups of coffee never stopped. The conversations never stopped, spinning and turning and returning again. This it was, once upon a time.

My friend Bill Bucher has expressed an interest in writing some micro-stories about that time, and about times that came later, and if any other Hobnobbers find us, we’d invite you to join in. For this purpose, at one point we set up a separate weblog for tales from that time, and tales from our later lives.

However, software changes eventually interfered, and we lost that site. Sorry.

So at least, join us in remembering. I’m sure in your memory, the coffee is as strong as ever, and in the fullness of time we’re hoping the gab will flow, richer than ever.

 

Categories // All, college, Looking Back

Leaving

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Summer, 2003, Mount Shasta: Adrienne’s daughter Layla came visiting this last weekend. Layla is a pretty young woman, early 30’s, an avid athlete, who climbs a mountain every morning when she’s not biking for miles and miles.

Adrienne has returned today, tired, saddened, and weeping.

As it happens, Layla, though a good driver, has never driven more than a few miles. So last week Adrienne, ever the doting mother, drove down to Marin County to pick Layla up, and yesterday Adrienne drove Layla back home.

And after her two trips to the Bay Area, Adrienne has returned today, tired, saddened, and weeping. Suddenly, she realizes — for the first time — that she has left Marin. “I’ve been looking forward to Layla visiting,” she sobs, “Now what will I look forward to?”

Everywhere she looks, she sees sadness. She’s closed her business; she’s left the dogs she walked; some of them she’s known for years. She’s received phone calls from many of the dog owners; she thinks of these phone calls now. “Jazzie still waits by the front door every day,” she sobs. “I just can’t bear it.” The tears subside, then return.

“I didn’t know it would be so hard,” she cries. “I miss my daughters. I want to be near them. Lots of families live near each other.” She pauses. The tears come again.

“I’m a mother!” she cries. “I miss my daughters.”

I hold her, and let the tears flow. And I remember a time

One year, long ago, returning to college …

I lived at home when I started college, but after a semester wanted to move to another school, further away, where I’d not be living at home. Any young man wants that.

And I moved to the further school, and lived with roommates and had adventures, and then moved into an apartment of my own. I met girls and bought a fancy sportscar. And then one weekend I visited at home, until the Sunday.

As I drove away from our house, my little brother Paul, who was perhaps nine, ran on the sidewalk behind me, waving and calling goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

I watched him in the round mirror.

Although he was running toward me, in the round mirror he grew smaller and smaller, calling goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Smaller and smaller. Calling goodbye, goodbye.

My little brother grew smaller and further away, and I realized that, for the first time, I was driving away, because I was going home.

Categories // All, childhood, college, family, Looking Back

The Skydivers

03.13.2011 by bloggard // 1 Comment

Skydiving Wallpapers - Top Free Skydiving Backgrounds - WallpaperAccessMidwestern University, Wichita Falls, Texas 1963: My big plan was to become an engineer, because I thought a slide-rule would look good with my glasses. And so I was in the math class.

The professor was a large, languid fellow with an embarrassing habit of scratching himself absentmindedly, spreading chalk dust on his pants.

On this particular day, he was chalking a proof on the blackboard. “Let’s assume such-and-such,” he said, and then described five or six steps, “and then as you can see, the result is so-and-do.”

Except that something was wrong.

I’m no whiz at math, and I had to struggle and focus. But it just didn’t look right. Something was wrong. The proof and the class ended at the same time, but I remained sitting, going over it.

Me and Bill and Dennis Thought Something Was Off

To my left, Bill the ex-marine with crisp black hair still in a crew cut. To my right, Dennis with wavy long blonde hair. They were staring and pondering, too. All the other students had left the room. The professor looked at the three of us.

“A question?” he asked us.

“There’s just something …” began Bill.

“Something’s wrong,” I said.

“It’s this,” said Dennis. “If your original assumption is correct, then the proof is correct. But if not, then the conclusion is wrong. The proof is circular.”

Professor ‘Fessed Up

The professor smiled a slow, warm smile. “Well, now,” he said. “That’s exactly correct. The real proof requires calculus, which I can’t use here. But without giving a proof, students just don’t understand it. So we use this one.”

Haw haw haw haw haw!

We Started Becoming Pals

Over coffee, I met the boys. They were older. Bill had just finished his Marine stint; Dennis an army tour. Both had been in Japan. “Ohio,” they said when meeting; I think it means hello. “Gomenizai,” they would say, “I’m very sorry.”

Haw haw haw haw haw!

Next semester we shared a drafting class. At that time, there was an adventure with a girl, she missed a period, and I was all uptight. They just laughed. “A woman is not a close-tolerance machine,” said Dennis.

Huh? I had no clue what he meant.

“He means,” Bill said, “that most likely you got nothing to worry about. Just relax.” They thought my expression funny.

Haw haw haw haw haw!

And Then … the SkyDiving Adventure

I neither relaxed nor thought it funny, but they were right, as it turned out. After drafting class was lunch. Over burgers, Bill was talking about El Toro Marine Base, and about skydiving. Really?

By the following week, Bill had found a place where we could go skydiving. It cost $50. Dennis said he was in. I did, too. Bill handed me a piece of paper: a release. “Since you’re eighteen,” Bill said, “you need to get your parents to OK this.” I said OK.

In the evening, I handed the paper to my mother and stepfather. My mother didn’t know quite what it was, and my stepfather seemed uncertain. I explained that it was perfectly safe, and that you just jumped out of an airplane. It was really fun, like flying, and you had a parachute.

They looked at the paper. They looked at each other. They looked back at me.

Haw haw haw haw haw!

Categories // adventure, All, college, friends, fun, Looking Back, pals

John and Joan

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

North Texas State University, Denton, Texas, 1965: There were two girls named Patty. I loved each of them, at different times. The one called Pretty Patty eventually ran off with a guy named Gary; I lost track of them in Santa Fe.

The other was called Patty Cake, and on the eve of my 21st birthday, completely misinformed while I was away getting the beer, threw a fit and all my records onto the floor of my apartment, and so I stopped phoning her. When next I saw her, she was abashed, embarassed. I leaned over the table, looking into her eyes, and said softly, “You scamp,” and she knew it was over between us.

But this was before all that, when life was still fresh and light-hearted. Now the deal was, there was John, and there was Joan. John was younger, because, being brilliant, he’d graduated high-school at sixteen, and now found himself editor of our college Literary Magazine.

Joan I no longer recall clearly, except that John showed us the marks she had made on his back, so I guess she had her points.

But the thing was, the two of them squabbled. Squabbilus, squabbelaste, squabbalorum. All the time. About anything. About nothing. Without regard to anyone present. Always, always, always. So annoying it was, to wade through this movable skirmish.

So Patty Cake and I, commiserating over wine, hatched a plan to cure them.

First, we invited them to an evening, dinner and wine, at my tiny apartment at 1308 1/2 West Hickory, across from the English Building. We had the usual student meal in which spaghetti was featured, and red wine. And a little more red wine.

About the time everybody was feeling good, we arranged it that John and Joan sat on the sofa, out of the way. They’d bickered earlier, off and on, but were basking in a fine mood now.

However, Patty Cake and I began to quarrel. We really began to quarrel. We grew more and more heated, until we were standing mid-room, screaming into each other’s faces. Patty Cake drew back and slapped me, hard. It staggered me.

Bellowing in rage, I ran to grab a huge butcher knife, and, raising it high, I sprang at her. She shrank, screaming.

At the last moment … we stopped, and turned together to where John and Joan sat paralysed, eyes wide in horror. And Patty Cake and I said, calmly, “See? Do you see how unpleasant it is to be around people fighting all the time?”

Numbly, open-mouthed, they nodded.

Later, more wine. Sometime late, late, late, we four found ourselves in a children’s playground, in the dark, upon a grassy knoll, falling off some kind of merry-go-round contraption, and laughing and laughing and laughing.

It was very late towards morning when Patty Cake and I got cozy in my apartment, to spend some time together. Perhaps it was a long time together. My bed was next to the window, and just as we were drifting off to sleep, there was a hint of daybreak outside, and the sounds of birds singing.

I fell asleep, smiling, content.

Categories // All, college, happiness, Looking Back

Sleeping On the Job

03.12.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Shady Shores community, near Dallas, Texas, 1964: In college, my roommates and I lived on a lake, in a concrete-block house made from a garage, just behind the grand house of Mr. J. D. Lingo, who operated a Dallas heavy-equipment business. I don’t know what that means, except that surely it involves large equipment.

Because my roommates found jobs as banquet waiters, I also applied at the Holiday Inn, and found myself a bellboy, and I also carried breakfast orders to the rooms. I became very proud of my skill in balancing the huge tray loaded with dishes and cups.

It was also fun to call in from the pool phone, on the busy summer days, and request Mrs. Heflin at the switchboard to page Mr. T. S. Elliot. She paged him again and again, but he never answered the page.

My life changed due to James, the cajun.

He’d come from the bayou and it lived still in his speech. Outside a bar in Lake Charles, he’d saved his friend from a drunk driver, but lost a leg in the act. Once living in Nashville, he knew the young Elvis. A fine boy, Elvis, and sober. Or, as James said, “I’ve got my first time to see him take a drink.”

That Fall, as we returned to classes, James decided to return to Lake Charles. He told Mr. Kahler the manager. He told Ron Johnson, the assistant manager. Mr. Kahler did nothing, and Ron did nothing. Ron told James that if he left, Mr. Kahler would have a fit.

But James said he was going to Lake Charles on that date, regardless.

Balancing the Books

James was the night auditor; he worked from 11 at night till 7 in the morning, and balanced out the bookkeeping machine at the front desk. The difficulty was in finding a replacement.

They did nothing. He left.

I showed up at the office, and said I could do it.

Having no better plan, they let me try. I knew nothing, but there was a single form on which this balancing was done. It all added up in plusses and minuses, and a big arrow showed which two totals had to agree. I was able to figure it out.

So I became the night auditor.

In a way, this was a student’s dream job, because — the way I did it — they paid me for sleeping. I came to work, balanced the books by 1 am, then retrieved the pillow stolen from housekeeping (which I hid daytimes inside the back panel of the switchboard), and then slept on the floor behind the front desk. Paid hourly; for sleeping on the job. Neat!

I admit it startled a few late-arriving guests. Walking up to the front desk, they’d tap the bell, and then I appeared, rising like Dracula from beneath the desk.

Once, very early, Ron the assistant manager unexpectedly came through the back door. He said that if Mr. Kahler saw me sleeping, that Mr. Kahler would have a fit.

But Ron often threatened that Mr. Kahler would have a fit. I was uncertain whether to worry, or not.

As it happened, a few days later, my roommate Pat was drinking iced tea behind the front desk. Pat was a nice-looking guy who resembled Jules, or perhaps it was Jim, from the French film Jules et Jim. Pat was also the desk clerk.

Ron told Pat that if Mr. Kahler saw those empty iced-tea glasses, that Mr. Kahler would have a fit. Oddly enough, just then Mr. Kahler walked through the front door.

Behind the desk, Pat stood up, and held up an empty iced-tea glass, so that Mr. Kahler could see it. Pat said to Mr. Kahler, “Have a fit?”

Mr. Kahler gave Pat a puzzled look, and disappeared into the restaurant. Mr. Kahler had said nothing; and Mr. Kahler didn’t have a fit.

It was Ron who had the fit.

Neat!

Categories // All, college, Looking Back, Problems

Derley Davis and the Dew Drop Inn

03.12.2011 by bloggard // 21 Comments

Henrietta, Texas, 1955. Before Marty Robbins, before Elvis, before Bill Haley and the Comets. I was 11.

Sometimes my classmates walked to lunch at the Dew Drop Inn. A holdover from the 30’s, a rundown shack painted white with lots of small windows, on the main road, built when that main road sported wagons, and horses.

Dew Drop Inn. The name was painted vertically in black letters on the white posts holding a roof over …

The porch high above the elevated sidewalk. Proprietor: Derley Davis, also dressed in white (apron, pants, and shirt). Famous for his chili. Derley Davis had a secret recipe.

The famous chili …

Served steaming in thick white bowls with a blue stripe. Rich reddish-brown chili, thick and spicy. No tables, just red-topped stools on a u-shaped counter on three sides opposite the front door. Tobasco on the counter for the very, very brave. Saltine crackers, of course, to be crumbled properly. Beans? Yeah, but not many. Now that was some chili.

Eating a lunch there one day, “There’s a leaf in my chili!” I told Mr. Davis. He peered into my bowl.

“That’s a bay leaf,” he said, “Just seasoning.” Nodding my head wisely, 11 years old. Hmmm, I thought. A bay leaf.

And then, some years later …

Real Texas Chili… Nine years, two automobiles, and several girls later, for the first time cooking for myself, in college. No dorm for me, wild free spirit and all. And so, cooking for myself. Pity I never paid any attention to what my mother actually did in the kitchen.

But the first time I decided to make chili, I knew just what to do. I went shopping for chili powder, and a secret ingredient.

Six or eight large bay leaves, I think it was.

That was when I learned that a little bay leaf goes a long way.

 

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Categories // All, college, cookery, exercise and nutrition, Henrietta Texas, Looking Back, North Texas State University

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