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LaMont Johnson, the Answering Service, and Improvising Music

05.07.2016 by bloggard // 6 Comments

[This micro-story is adapted with permission from the Appendix in “Easy Touch-Style Improvisation,” a method book for playing two-handed touchstyle bass, by Traktor Topaz and Henri DuPont.)

Los Angeles, January 29, 1969: There was this jazz piano-player named LaMont Johnson, who was a roommate in our large house on Western Avenue. He lived from October 1941 until October 1999, but back then 30 years earlier, at that time he was very much alive. He bristled with energy.

He was very, very good as a piano player, ranging from funk to jazz and it all rocked. He had played and done recordings with Woody Shaw toward the end of bebop, and with Ornette Coleman, George Benson, and other luminaries of jazz.

I mention him because I had decided to learn how to play music. I wanted to learn how to improvise like he did, making up new songs on the fly. That’s what drove me. I wanted to be learn how to improvise.

And so it was that I asked him a simple question —

What are the good notes?

What are the notes to play?

Now, although he could play the “good” notes, [Read more…]

Categories // adventure, All, bidness, Looking Back, megatar, music

Writing and Marketing

01.23.2016 by bloggard // 4 Comments

Medford Oregon, January 23, 2016:  Two writer friends and I had coffee yesterday, because they wanted to talk about marketing their books. One of them has published a couple of books but his last one has not sold much yet. The other fellow is still working on his book. Both books are novels.

I confessed that although I’ve written several books and have published them in one way or another, I’m no big expert on this subject.

However, as the get-together unfolded, between my marketing experiences and their ideas we actually did put together a couple of plans that seem very likely to be effective.

I Read the News Today, Oh Boy

Today, I got an email from one of them, and in his email he said:

“All very interesting, and I want to know more, but my purist streak pulls me back to the Dark Side, to wit: Why don’t I just learn how to write a Story that makes a reader want to burn through it before lunch because I have made this huge promise and they are hungry for their payoff?”

As I began to respond to his question, it reawakened something I learned many years ago from my client Jerry Richardson, the author of “Powers of Persuasion,” which became a national best-seller, about how we humans leave out parts of sentences. I have found it very useful over the years. Perhaps you will find interesting this response to my writer friend —

Hi,

To answer your question —

You asked: “Why don’t I just learn how to write a Story that makes a reader want to burn through it before lunch because I have made this huge promise and they are hungry for their payoff?”

Errors of Omission

Your answer is inside your question. All English-speakers engage in a practice that linguists would call “omission” or “deletion.” We delete parts of the sentence because they are “understood.” An example: [Read more…]

Categories // All, bidness, making changes, mind, personal growth, Problems, reprogramming, unconscious mind, Views, Wisdom Log

How to Write a Sales Script

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

San Francisco, Many Years Ago: Back in those days, I ran an answering service and later a voicemail company from an office on beautiful, scenic Geary Boulevard.

Fueled by a talk I heard at a trade convention, I began to experiment with ‘scripted’ sales presentations on the telephone. The lady giving the talk had claimed that a scripted sales presentation got more sales than just ‘winging’ it.

But first you got to write down the script!

How to do that?

Well …

In doing my experiments, I found a wonderful way to work out the scripts, to come up with stuff that was powerful. If you just try writing it down, it tends to wander all over the place like a lost dog sniffing after olfactory wonders in the woodland.

Plus, plenty of things that theoretically ought to work … don’t. But my organized method works wonders.

Later, I discovered I could simply sell the voicemail by leading the buyer into listening to my (recorded) presentation on the voicemail itself. These days a lot of selling is done on the internet, and still on the telephone. And there’s a mighty parallel between my older processes and the way things are sold today, on the phone and online.

Here is the method that worked again and again …

(Oh the sheer suspense!)

OK. Enough stalling. Here’s the plan …

(1) At first, if you can, arrange to take calls whenever possible, even if it’s a cheapo product.

(2) Improvise and explain your product as best you can. Answer their questions as best you can.

(3) After just a little time, you will notice that you are saying the same words to every caller, and you will notice that the callers are asking the same questions.

(4) Now write down (or record) those words that you are saying. Make a list of the questions that they most frequently ask, and weave the answers into your presentation.

(5) Now you have a tested and working presentation.

The human is always efficient. We learn not to waste time or energy automatically. Even without much thinking about it, you will notice maybe subconsciously, what ‘worked’ and you’ll repeat that behavior on your next phone call. You’re a human. That’s how a human naturally operates.

Try it. You’ll like it.

Categories // All, bidness, Looking Back, Wisdom Log

The Holiday Cheer Touchstyle Club

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Weed, California November 2008: Hot on the heels of the Mobius Magnificent Layaway Plan … comes the “Holiday Cheer” Touchstyle Club, with perhaps hundreds of dollars of savings for deserving little girls and- Oops, I meant to say dollars of savings for deserving musicians around the globe.

Yes, the Touchstyle Club, strange visitor from another planet, who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal man; and who, disguised as Kent Clark, mild-mannikin at the Daily Bungle, a grape necropolitan snoozepaper …

As you can see, things are going downhill fast here at the on-site news center. That’s because I stayed up late last night, and then woke up early with yet another set of bonus stuff for anybody wanting to save perhaps Hundreds of Dollars — oh, did I say that already — well, perhaps I did.

If you’ll take a quick peek, you can see why I’ve become over-excited. Be sure to *read every word*, from top to bottom, and then let me know what you think, you good little boys and- I mean, you good musicians, you.

Here it is —

The Holiday Cheer Touchstyle Club.

Categories // All, bidness, Looking Back, music

Law 23 of Business Problems

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

This is a simple law of nature, but one which is very handy:

Every Business has One of Four Problems: Employees, Capital, Machinery, or Inventory

That’s it.

Some businesses have more than one of these problems. Problems aren’t necessarily bad, but the problems do need good solutions if the enterprise is to flourish. If mismanaged, employees will shipwreck you. So will mismanaging your capital, machinery, or inventory.

It’s something to consider when planning a business venture. If you can solve these problems, and if you can locate customers and market successfully to them, the business might do very well. There’s more to life than running a business, but a business can be a good way to finance your life, and lots of people enjoy the challenge.

The astute reader will say, “Oh, but what about personal services businesses?” For example, dogwalkers and bookkeepers and barbers and lawyers. These businesses do not necessarily require any significant amounts of employees, nor capital, nor machinery, nor inventory.

In these cases, you are selling your time, and time is the only commodity in the entire universe which is absolutely limited to you. You are not obtaining the leverage afforded by employees, capital, machinery, or inventory, so in this case the best plan is to (a) earn a lot of money for your time, relative to your needs; (b) enjoy the thing you are doing; and (c) stash away and invest for a rainy day.

Knowing this important secret of the universe, go forth and prosper.

Categories // bidness, Handy Info, Law 23, Looking Back, Problems, Wisdom Log

The Ashford Agency

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

San Francisco, 1989: Perhaps it was reading all those mysteries, late night and eyes gritty, and the sounds of the night outside. Maybe the accident of meeting Fay, in that seedy part of town just off the waterfront. Maybe I just worried about getting fat, and thought if I was a Private Eye, I’d be the Thin Man.

Whatever it was, I became a Private Investigator.

For a while.

Logo for The Ashford Agency

The business card of The Ashford Agency referred to me as “Dr. Detecto”. Adrienne kept calling me Defecto, but that was just her tough-girl style. The card had a picture of a dragon circling a castle spire beneath the moon, and a story …

“During the middle ages, a monastic order known as the Cistercians became prominant, spreading throughout Europe and the English islands. The Cistercians had an organization which allowed local control of each monastery, but an annual convocation of all abbots that they might remain united in theology and purpose.

“The order was known to be hard-working and honest, stressing simplicity and truth, and they preserved many manuscripts which were already ancient. One such obscure manuscript appears to be an account of a Dragon which lived nearby and spoke with men, although the time of this Dragon was already long past by the time of the Cistercian manuscript, which is circa 1272 A.D. —

“In Ashford Tower upon the plain,
In Time of Auld did Dragon dwell.
In knowledge were He Deep and Fair,
In Visage Dark and Fell.

“The Ashford Agency has chosen this ancient image as a symbol of the eternal search for truth and man’s endless struggle to pierce the veil of illusion, to perceive life as it is, and the ultimate victory of love and hope over the forces of evil.

“The Ashford Agency is licensed by the State of California Department of Consumer Affairs, Bureau of Collections and Investigations.”

Isn’t that just swell?

Alas, my agency and my P.I. career fell quite short of these lofty goals, though I did manage to investigate a traffic accident, serve papers on a couple of guys, wear a disguise, and attempt to tail somebody to their hideout in order to find where they’d hidden the assets. I also got a job to recover funds from some scam boys, but scam boys were way better than me, and remained unfound.

The job did give me a reason to grow a moustache, and to buy a grey surveillance vehicle and a Minolta camera with fancy lenses. The camera turned out to be great for high-speed shots of skateboarders, and for close-ups of the roses in Golden Gate Park in the Spring.

Fay, who helped me set up The Ashford Agency, on the other hand, eventually uncovered an extensive murder ring among a family of gypsies. Honest to gosh, she actually did.

But that’s another story.

Categories // adventure, All, bidness, Looking Back

The Chapman Stick

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Trak Does Tuxedo!Lyon Street, San Francisco, 1990: I’d been playing keyboards, and I found the strange instrument in the keyboard magazines. It looked like a black board about four feet long, with lots of strings. It was kind of like a guitar, but more strings.

You played it by tapping the strings to the frets with both hands. Though it was expensive, I was intrigued. I called up the company and asked if they had any used ones. No, they didn’t. I scouted music stores. I found one, and bought it, then set to learning to play.

I was lousy.

On a week’s vacation, I practiced. After a week, I could play the song “Just in Time”, and felt very proud. A year later, I had some time off. I’d just sold my business, and had my first vacation in many years. For several months, I practiced daily, and then I was ready to play in public.

I was terrified, so to get over it, I’d drive to San Francisco where I’d put out a hat and play in Ghirardelli Square with a portable amp. I wasn’t very good, but some people liked the music. I made gas money, and got over being scared.

Ready for the big time, I learned 30+ songs, and arranged them in a binder. I bought a tuxedo, and had studio pictures taken, then made up a kind of program, with a story (somewhat dramatized) about my musical past, and a big list of songs in the middle. It was like opening a menu at a restaurant, but it was a menu of songs.

With a little tape of my songs, I talked several restaurants into letting me play on certain nights, for tips and a meal. Since I didn’t know many songs, I’d play a bit, then walk around and hand my menu to folks. They’d choose tunes, I would go back and play them, then they would put tips in my tip jar. This way they never requested other songs, because I didn’t know any others!

It was a lot of work, hauling the amp and setting up. From these jobs I got a few paying jobs: a corporate meeting on the Embarcadero, a wedding in Tiburon. But I never got even close to making a living.

As my money drew near its end, I had to choose: get a job, or start another voicemail company. I had a voicemail machine. I started another voicemail company. It quickly grew to provide a living, but the time spent playing in public dwindled and dwindled, until I stopped doing it.

Yes, the career of a musician is an exciting thing. Yup.

Categories // bidness, Looking Back, music

At 3304 Geary Boulevard

03.13.2011 by bloggard // 4 Comments

San Francisco, 1980: We’d outgrown my studio apartment on Third Avenue. Network Answering Service, the operators who answered the phones, the Thumbtack Bugle, plus the bookkeeper, and me. Time to move.

I searched Arguello. I searched Clement, and Balboa. I searched California Street. I found a second-story flat on Geary Boulevard, on the corner of Parker across from the Post Office. I walked the wooden floors in the empty rooms; it was a vast space, cheery with sunlight, and smelling of new varnish.

On the street below, the phone company was digging up the concrete in the middle of the street, so they could run our phonelines. I watched through the sunny windows. Never before had anybody dug up a street for me. This must be the big time!

For three weeks straight, I built shelving and set up our new workspace. Rosie the Cat kept me company. I got new lamps and large plants.

London, Paris, Tokyo.

In the foyer at the top of the stairs, I installed four KitKat clocks, with wagging eyes and tails. On the wall, all in a row, I had three black ones, with signs saying London, Paris, Tokyo. Then a pink one with rhinestones labeled San Francisco. Oh, we had arrived.

As it turned out, the foyer lacked light for the plants, and the operators wore out my rugs. The KitKat clocks gave out over time, and heating was a problem, as the thermostat was in one room and the heater in another; adjustment was, to say the least, tricky. Operators solved it by running the heater at full blast, while opening windows to let in the cool air. In this way they made themselves comfortable.

I explained that we would not be able to heat up Geary Boulevard. This made no impression.

I tore up some twenty dollar bills and tossed the pieces out the window, just as an example. That made an impression, of a sort, but little difference.

The cats, Rosie and Cosmo, liked the new digs.Then operator Anita found Morgan, just a tiny kitten abandoned in a paper bag, to join our crew. At first I lived in the large, dark-paneled room at the rear. There it was that I asked Lori to marry me. She said yes, we got married, we moved to an apartment at the corner of Carl and Cole streets.

I set up a development lab, and began designing the Line Seizer, an electronic device that talked with the telephone company’s central office as they sent calls to our answering service, identifying for our operators which client’s phone was ringing in to us. I took to wearing overalls like I’d seen real computer guys do.

There were excitements and triumphs, troubles and despairs, dramas and traumas. The actors came and went. Along the way, Lori and I estranged ourselves, and she ran the answering service while I took a job which carried me to Newport Beach, then Texas, then back to San Francisco, where we then sold the answering service. A manager was found for the voicemail business, I became a private investigator. Rooms were rented out.

One day, a notice from the city. Zoning problem. Time to move.

On the last day, walking around the wooden floors in empty rooms, I remembered that first day so many years earlier. The empty rooms now seemed worn and friendly. We’d traveled together; we hated to part.

Categories // adventure, All, bidness, Looking Back, making changes, network answering service

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