I don’t feel much different, but when I look into the mirror there appears to be more mileage than previously. What is today like? So far, similar to other days. But maybe it will be different in a minute.
I’m near 59 and not dead. Something of an Accomplishment.
Lots of people — some of them I knew well — have failed to achieve this milestone. So I’m grateful for the good health and long life (so far) which I have enjoyed …
I got several calls from family and a friend to wish me a happy — Folks, keep those cards and letters coming in! — So far having a pleasant day, and Adrienne cooked us lunch. The casual visitor here may not appreciate the earth-shattering significance of …
… the significance of Adrienne cooking lunch.
While I cook us many meals, and enjoy having somebody cooking for me — it seems a loving and neighborly thing to do — Adrienne, the woman, doesn’t like to ccok. She could live an eternity on yogurt and apples, I’m certain of it. Maybe a can of tuna fish. For many years, on certain years, around Christmas/Thanksgiving time, I might get a vegetable pot pie made with a cat face cut into the crust … if I was lucky.
Some years, no cat-face pie. Too bad. I was looking forward to that cat-face pie.
You know those stories your mama used to threaten you with, when you were very little. No, not the stories about the– Wait a minute. Let’s start over. You know how your mama used to threaten you around Christmastime with the claim that bad children would receive a lump of coal? (What was with this lump of coal? In Texas nobody uses coal. It’s natural gas, man. Why the hell Santa would bring coal?)
Well, a year with no cat-face pie seemed like getting the lump of coal in the stocking. Just out of luck, for now. Maybe next year …
In the meantime, I’m almost 59, and very happy to be here, thank you very much, and I’d like to thank the members of the academy, and my mother, and …
Death and Phil Nimmo
Back in Henrietta Grade School (North Texas, 1950-1956), Phil Nimmo was a classmate. Lived on a farm to the west. His mom taught third grade and art. His whole family was quiet, and slightly rounded.
I stayed the night once, and was introduced to Ghost Rider comics, and the concept of using baking soda instead of toothpaste. I still remember the Ghost Rider story: while he (Ghost Rider) was unconscious, the bad guys bandaged up his head, but put a deadly tarantula inside the bandage. Later on, they were as surprised as I was when he was not dead. Come to find out, he had taken the spider out of the bandage. It was a relief to me, and I’ll bet you’re happy, too.
In later years, Phil Nimmo’s mom died. I no longer recall how or why. An illness. And then in high school, one winter day I got a call, Phil’s brother Lindsay had found his father; he’d died abed during the night. For some reason, hearing this news, it seemed vitally important to drive fast. Their farm was perhaps 7 miles out the highway. Many of my friends were there. Did we think we were a comfort to Phil Nimmo?
At some point, firewood was needed. I volunteered, then clumsily learned that chopping wood is not so easy. Phil Nimmo came out and said, “Let me do it.” I protested. He said, “I want to.” He made short work of it.
Years later, living in Dallas, I heard roundabout that Phil Nimmo now lived in Dallas. I located him and phoned. He seemed quite surprised to hear from me, and seemed displeased. He didn’t quite know why I was calling. I can still feel it, but I can’t exactly say why, either.
How to Pick Up Girls (Part 1)
Wichita Falls, Texas. Spring 1971 — A bright idea pays off.
Havingness, noun, Your willingness, often automatic, to experience something in your life; how much you are ‘having’ of something, such as: love-life, money, nice apartment, etc.
Havingness What You Want!
From puberty to age 26, I had been incompetent in learning about women, and then one day it dawned upon me that this was something I could systematically learn. I’d learned other things; why not learn this?
So I did. I studied carefully, and then discovered that the Havingness Concept provides a key that makes it easy …
When is something Easy?
The easiest time to get a job is when you got a job. The easiest time to get a girlfriend is, ulp, when you got a girlfriend. The easiest time to find an apartment is when you got an apartment. It takes money to make money.
These are metaphysical statements. I can’t prove them. But go find any human, and have him experiment, and he will report it seems to work that way.
Why does it work that way?
You have an inner gauge we’ll call ‘havingness’, how much of something you can experience. Maybe you can experience money easily, but girlfriends not so well. It’s running on automatic, so just your wanting it to be different doesn’t make it so. In fact, the more desparately you desire the thing, the more sharply you are focussing your lack, and this self-fullfilling target perpetuates itself, in accordance with your inner vision.
For example, let’s say you’re male and there’s an acute lack of girlfriend. It seems like you don’t meet anyone; and the ones you do meet, well, there’s something wrong with them.
If you keep on doing what you been doing, you’ll keep on having what you been having. So if you make no change, you’ll suffer lack of girlfriend for far longer than need be. This is an easy thing to change, when you’re willing to change your focus.
Hard to find a girlfriend? OK, it’s an illusion, but when you are inside that illusion, it sure looks like that. Therefore, let’s just set it aside and look at something else.
How can you change a shortage?
Instead of trying to change the girlfriend shortage (which appears very difficult), let’s just look at changing your internal level of ‘Havingness’. (Which will appear surprisingly easy.)
Here’s what you do: First, stop saying no. Start going out with anybody at all. Go out with people you’re not interested in. Any female at all, go out for any reason whatsoever. And go out five times a week! Don’t be “reasonable” and scale it down. Five times a week.
Remember, just now, you’re not trying to find a girlfriend. These folks aren’t girlfriend material for you at this time. (Don’t sleep with them. That will just snarl you up.) Just go out five times a week, and enjoy it as best you can. Without expectation and target-seeking, you’ll generally find yourself having fun, you wild guy you.
Remember, again, that you are engaging in this activity — five times a week — in order to increase your internal, automatic ‘havingness’ level. It’s a fair amount of work, so don’t do big productions. Go out for coffee. Go to the library with someone. Go to the laundromat. Keep it simple. Do this for a few weeks and watch what happens.
What results will you get?
It’s quite surprising. Suddenly, mysteriously, attractive and interesting women will begin to fall out of the sky. You can’t go to the parking lot without bumping into several. At least, it will seem that way. And, they’ll start giggling and smiling at you.
Now, start asking them out. You’ll discover that much of your normal clumsiness will have vanished! You’ll now find it surprisingly easy. You have changed something internally; the world looks different. Without trying, you have stepped outside of the former illusion.
But don’t make the blunder of stopping your program. For now, continue going out five times a week. You’re not done yet. This simple and pleasant exercise is what’s building your internal, automatic havingness level. Keep that going for a while, because even more attractive women will show up the next week! Further, the longer you run this program, the more “permanent” it becomes.
You see, without even worrying about the cause of your internal programming, you have changed it. The old program, the old restricted-havingness level, cannot stand against the evidence of your eyes, your ears, and your other senses. When you actually see yourself going out frequently, your internal program will change immediately and automatically. No psychotherapy required. Call it magic. Call it human nature. But call it; and it will come.
When you try it, you will see.
Havingness — how to Have what you want — a concept that opens any area of your life where you’d like to have more. You’re now seeing more of what you’d like to see. Why? Because, knowing how to look, you begin to see. Learning to see, there’s a lot to like! This is a workable map.
Do you want things different? Follow this map.
You will see.
On This Day: Starting hyperengines — Status: Almost 59.
San Anselmo, Maggie’s house ::Almost Birthday Party::
HB2U coming up Monday 4/7, will be 59. Whoah! Today Celina’s tribe and Layla came for a party. Midmorning I found Adrienne laying out a jazzy table setting with chili-peppers-on-black party tablecloth. The colorful streamers, the baloons (falsely printed Happy RETIREDMENT!), party hats and a birthday tiara for me.
The little kids made the chocolate cake: Rhiannon mixed, and Dameon iced. I got all presents with a food theme: a kitchy gadget that’s a spatula, a tongs, a whisk, but wait there’s more. Apron, wooden salad tongs, a book of captioned animal pix from Layla, and a gift cert for snazzy lunch come monday with Adrienne.
Joe and Celina doing some sort of therapy, made some conversations odd-sounding. Jessica very proud: Picture on the front page Marin newspaper sport section, tagging an opponent at homebase, and she’s OUT! I enjoyed their visit. We had fun today.
This seems like a good spot to start my weblog.
Mutability, Linkage. Why Weblogging is here to stay.
It will cover the world within ten years. Why? It is, as they say, the killer ap. Why?
Discourse and logic is not ever proof, only a audio-visual aid so you can see it for yourself, as we do. So I’m skipping the logic, for now, to appeal to your own experience.
Remember when surfing the internet was new? When was that?
Such a very short time ago! And you remember how interesting it was to go from link to link? Just looking for stuff to see?
And yet we don’t do that these days with the same sense of wonder. And when we do go searching, it’s focussed on a subject. Some of the findings are blah, some ugly, some commercial, some artsy, some off the subject, some incomprehensible. We find a few leads, and then we’re done.
And a site searched for, once found, how often do you return? And do you return every day?
Not usually. Which are the exceptions, the one you return daily or frequently? Mine are Slashdot, Tappistry.Org (daily), and BBC Science (now and then). What’s common to these? Mutability. They’re different each time visited. Wouldn’t go back if they were always the same. That’s why I never visit Microsoft; always piracy, never anything different.
If you would understand your own age, read the works of fiction produced in it. People in disguise speak freely.
But the experience of reading a weblog — no, make that the experience of reading some weblogs is different. Because of the eternal mutability, and because of the linkset commonly found. Because you discover one guy’s weblog (gal’s weblog) where you like the style or the content, and you click their links, and you find new sites, often interesting ones. Not always, but often enough to keep you clicking.
Because we’re not following a path by subject; we’re following a path of simpatico people and common interests. Today I found myself reading bio-engineering of viruses and aromatherapy. Not my thing. But it was made interesting by the interest of the human who was writing it. Transformation occurs.
Not a chain of subject, but a chain of people.
Suddenly, we are describing human nature, and we are describing the idea of what interests us interests our friends. And what interests your friends often interests you.
Mutability, and the linkage. That’s why weblogs are here to stay. And I haven’t got into writing a weblog yet.
Law 23 of Human Belief Systems
This is a simple law of nature, but one which is very handy:
A human will find it easy to believe what the human would like to believe.
That’s it.
In others, when presenting an idea, if you want it accepted, then express it in a way that they would like it to be true. “Now this snake oil may not make you look like Robert Redford, but it will help to bring out the handsome devil you really are inside.”
In yourself, always be chary of thinking you’ve got it right, just because you’d like it to be that way. And if you’d really, really like it to be that way, check your facts twice!
Knowing this important secret of the universe, go forth and prosper.
Simple Simon
January 1975. I lived in a studio apartment above 3rd Avenue in San Francisco, just north of Golden Gate Park. There I started a little bookeeping business, and charged $8 per hour, big money. I called it ‘Simple Simon Bookeeping.’
It was a nice little occupation, although annoying in that people tended to call me either ‘Simon’ or ‘Simple’.
It came about in an odd way …
I had decided to become a “freelance” bookkeeper. A library book (1937) from the San Francisco library made it seem clear enough. But how to proceed?
One night about 1 am, sanding mahogany shelving I’d made for my studio apartment on Third Avenue, I was listening to the radio. The radio DJ was talking about recipes.
I called in my Texas Chili recipe, and speaking later with him told him my plan. I don’t remember why. Maybe he asked me.
It turns out, he’s got a friend named Alan, an accountant, and he suggested I go see Alan for guidance. I made an appointment, and explained my plan. My plan was to:
1) Find a client;
2) Get the records from the client;
3) Bring the records to Alan’s office;
4) Pay Alan to show me how to do the books.
Alan said he liked the plan. So that’s what I did.
I put up one handwritten poster in the stairwell at City Lights Bookstore in North Beach. What a dumb place! How ignorant to think that one poster would work!
Then, the next week, Phil Groves called me. He’d seen my poster at City Lights Bookstore. He was starting an ice-cream shop. Could I do their books?
We met at the college cafeteria, because I wanted someplace upscale. Alan had given me a list of what records to ask for, and I’d asked Phil to bring all those things.
Phil asked, “Can you do this? Can you do that?”
I nodded, “No problem. No problem.”
Phil asked, “How much?”
“Eight dollars an hour.”
He agreed.
He gave me all the records.
I went to Alan’s office. Alan showed me how to keep the books. It was simpler than the 1937 library book made out.
Then I was in the bookkeeping business.
So Simple.
That’s me.
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