The Adventures of Bloggard

Come to find out, there’s a better way to set up voicemail lines than what I’ve been using for the last fourteen years.

I don’t know if this always existed, or has just emerged from some new technological marvel. But it’s here now, so I’m changing.

One day at a parade, Layla’s Greg told me about this. Following up promptly a year later, I discover that my cost immediately drops in half, and by chance the cabinet is free.

But that’s not all …

In addition, through some magic they can give me local numbers from Santa Rosa to Santa Cruz, coming into the same machine. I can even bring in numbers from Seattle or Atlanta or Chicago. I don’t know how they do that.

Lunch last week in SF’s SOMA with Jon E. Got paperwork. Got homework. Completing arrangements next week. It will be Full Moon and May Day. What you make of that, kemo sabe?

Adrienne and I are sometimes just not on the same wavelength. We had a disagreement, regarding funds and moving costs, and it left us both in the dumps. While I feel clear about what needs to be done, it’s also clear that the talk was damaging. I hate that, and don’t know any better way of proceeding.

I’m quite concerned about our financing of our move, and maybe this is making me too edgy. I’m not sure. I wish I could be more loving. I’m just not quite sure how.

From time to time, I miss that Mogo.

Looky Back: San Francisco 1988. Charlie was a thin gay guy with black hair, manager for a time at Network Answering Service on Geary Boulevard. One day our operator Anita came to work with a small paper bag. Inside a kitty. Someone had abandoned it on the street; she’d found it near the bus stop.

It needed nursing, from a tiny bottle. I did that. But couldn’t really keep another cat at Network. We already had Rosie, who had founded Network, and Cosmo the wild refugee hitchhiker from Mendocino. So Charlie said he’d take her home, and named her Morgan.

Just a few months later …

Charlie got the bug to travel; and, giving away excess possessions, said he had some nice towels for me. He insisted; he arranged that I’d pick them up after he’d gone, a Saturday I think. I showed up at his ex-apartment. His ex-roomate led me in and said, “Here are your towels. And here is your cat.”

Mogo outlived Cosmo, moved from Network to Lyon street, where she and Rosie would block the hall so little Holly had to leap over them to avoid swatting with kitty claws. Mogo outlived Rosie, who just one day wore out, and could walk no more, sweet modest little thing. True of heart Rosie was, and uncomplaining.

Mogo moved to Marin and became a tough trailer-park kitty, where she and the new kid, Percy, formed a gang. Later, becoming genteel, they moved to upscale San Anselmo, and claimed to be members of a literary society. But of course they were just the same gang members.

One day in October 2000, Morgan wasn’t so well. The vet made some tests, gave her a cortizone shot. That day she came up on the deck, and just started talking to me. Talking and talking and talking. That night, for a time she was missing. I searched. Finally Adrienne spotted her. At great leisure, Morgan was rolling around in a patch of moonlight, taking a little moonbath. What a scamp.

But the test result was grim. She became unable to move around much, and lived only a couple more days. I would place her on a pillow near the window, but she lost interest. Finally, one day she went to the vet. Then she was gone.

Durn ol kitty.

Ha, ha, ha! Today is April Food Day! April Food!

Adrienne brought them in when returning from dogsitty Izzy. Clearly I’m going all to hell here.

You wouldn’t know, of course, but Adrienne is very allergic to poison oak. And we live in San Anselmo, in what’s called the Valley of the Oaks. Ignorant me, I didn’t know that poison oak is related to oak trees, found around oak trees, maybe is some kind of evil-spirited oak tree, I dunno. Duh!

It appears that one of her dogs got into poison oak, and then applied liberal doses to her body. It was painful just to look at, and she was clearly itching out of her skin for about a week. But now …

It seems much improved, thank you very much.

We hired a fellow to cut it all out of the back yard. Costly. Haven’t seen him since. Hope he’s OK.

We’re moving. I’ve had it with this place. Poison oak … it’s for the birds. Strickly from hunger. Adios I say. Bring on those tall pines for us city slickers. Coming right up!

January 1975. I lived in a studio apartment above 3rd Avenue in San Francisco, just north of Golden Gate Park. There I started a little bookeeping business, and charged $8 per hour, big money. I called it ‘Simple Simon Bookeeping.’

It was a nice little occupation, although annoying in that people tended to call me either ‘Simon’ or ‘Simple’.

It came about in an odd way …

I had decided to become a “freelance” bookkeeper. A library book (1937) from the San Francisco library made it seem clear enough. But how to proceed?

One night about 1 am, sanding mahogany shelving I’d made for my studio apartment on Third Avenue, I was listening to the radio. The radio DJ was talking about recipes.

I called in my Texas Chili recipe, and speaking later with him told him my plan. I don’t remember why. Maybe he asked me.

It turns out, he’s got a friend named Alan, an accountant, and he suggested I go see Alan for guidance. I made an appointment, and explained my plan. My plan was to:

1) Find a client;
2) Get the records from the client;
3) Bring the records to Alan’s office;
4) Pay Alan to show me how to do the books.

Alan said he liked the plan. So that’s what I did.

I put up one handwritten poster in the stairwell at City Lights Bookstore in North Beach. What a dumb place! How ignorant to think that one poster would work!

Then, the next week, Phil Groves called me. He’d seen my poster at City Lights Bookstore. He was starting an ice-cream shop. Could I do their books?

We met at the college cafeteria, because I wanted someplace upscale. Alan had given me a list of what records to ask for, and I’d asked Phil to bring all those things.

Phil asked, “Can you do this? Can you do that?”

I nodded, “No problem. No problem.”

Phil asked, “How much?”

“Eight dollars an hour.”

He agreed.

He gave me all the records.

I went to Alan’s office. Alan showed me how to keep the books. It was simpler than the 1937 library book made out.

Then I was in the bookkeeping business.

So Simple.

That’s me.

San Anselmo, Maggie’s house ::Almost Birthday Party::

HB2U coming up Monday 4/7, will be 59. Whoah! Today Celina’s tribe and Layla came for a party. Midmorning I found Adrienne laying out a jazzy table setting with chili-peppers-on-black party tablecloth. The colorful streamers, the baloons (falsely printed Happy RETIREDMENT!), party hats and a birthday tiara for me.

The little kids made the chocolate cake: Rhiannon mixed, and Dameon iced. I got all presents with a food theme: a kitchy gadget that’s a spatula, a tongs, a whisk, but wait there’s more. Apron, wooden salad tongs, a book of captioned animal pix from Layla, and a gift cert for snazzy lunch come monday with Adrienne.

Joe and Celina doing some sort of therapy, made some conversations odd-sounding. Jessica very proud: Picture on the front page Marin newspaper sport section, tagging an opponent at homebase, and she’s OUT! I enjoyed their visit. We had fun today.

This seems like a good spot to start my weblog.