Medford, Oregon – Daylight Savies Day, 2017 — Before I share my handy tip with you, I gotta say that in my opinion, William Willett has a lot to answer for, because best I can tell he was the scurvy dog — not Benjamin Franklin — who actually “invented” what is now Daylight Savings Time. Or maybe I should say he was the scurvy dog who unleashed the Daylight Savings Scam upon an unsuspecting populace.
‘Only a white man would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket and sew it to the bottom of a blanket and have a longer blanket.’ — Indian Saying
Ain’t it just the truth!
And right here, right now I want to put to rest the scurrilous rumors that Timex and Waltham and other clock manufacturers are behind the Daylight Savings scandal. I find those scurrilous references and vile slanders unwarranted.
Back to the Handy Tip …
Although I got kind of carried away — because this happens to me twice each year, and really burns my french-fries — the actual handy tip is really rather simple. It’s an alternative mnemonic device to help you remember how to change your clock.
Of course, you could simply refuse to be shanghai’ed, refuse to become the unwitting slave of your alarm clock, and change nothing and say the hell with them all. But as a feasible practice, it’s less work to change your clock, and then trick yourself for a few days, than to keep remembering and calculating the discrepancy between your clock and the one on your cellphone and computer, which will probably simply leap to the new fake time on their own, as if they are really the boss, and you are the unwashed lackey, when really it is YOU who are the eternally powerful spiritual being.
Now, remember that it’s not your fault. Many are confused by this wacko procedure. In fact, I have a favorite story that I get to tell twice each year because of this and you can read it here.
So, moving on, here is the handy tip. You just remember this each time that Daylight Savies comes around, and then you won’t set it backwards and show up two hours late, or two hours early. OK?
Here it is …
“Leap Up. Fall Down.”
That’s it. Just remember this handy saying, or tatoo it on some easily accessible part of your anatomy, and then when the news programs and other people and various websites start warning you, just use this as your guide to how to fake the time on your actual clocks.
LEAP UP — So in the early part of the year, when a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love, and stuff like that, you “Leap Up,” meaning to turn your clock up. This means advancing the hour hand to a bigger number (unless you’re setting it at noon), and also I recommend that you turn up the volume on your clock radio, or change it from classical to a Death-Metal or a vigorous Shock-Jock talk station.
FALL DOWN — And then later in the year, after the wear-and-tear of your summer excess has worn you down, you simply remember to “Fall Down,” meaning to set the hour hand to a lower number.
There.
Isn’t that simple-minded?
You’re welcome. I’m glad I could help.
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