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The Golden Words, Opium, and my dog Charlie

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

The big vacant lot, Weed, California, July 4, 2008: I was walking with my dogs, and I got to talking to my dog Charlie, who is young and impulsive. He’s a great listener. I can say any kind of nonsense and he’s still interested.

But I was talking to Charlie and I asked him if he liked poetry. He didn’t answer, being a dog, and I asked him if he like Samuel Taylor Coleridge. He didn’t answer that either.

But it got me to musing about that story. Do you remember how Coleridge was an opium smoker?

Well, he was.

And there he was, high as a kite, and in his mind’s eye he saw this really swell poem, and he went to write it down. It’s really quite wonderful. Has several paragraphs, and the first one goes like this …

“In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree:
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.”

But at that moment, a guy to whom Coleridge owed money came banging on the door! Interrupted our Samuel, and that was the end of the swell poem.

Bummer.

And while I was walking along with Charlie, who ran to chase some birds, I was thinking how we’re all searching for the … Golden Words.

The Golden Words that will bring us the love of our life. The Golden Words that will banish all our fears forever. The Golden Words that will magically unlock the riches of the internet.

Kind of like ‘Open, Sesame,’ for Ali Baba.

But when the currents of life toss you about, you know how often the quest for these Golden Words can toss us right in among the Forty Theives!

Oh, gosh, it can be confusing.

I’ve felt completely flabbergasted sometimes. Not because there’s any shortage of information. In fact, there’s too much!

There’s gems and glimmering gold all around us, as we go through life, but it’s like glimpsing a treasure while everyone around you is yelling.

Don’t you sometimes wish for something just simple and clear?

Something just simple?

Something clear?

Unlike Mr. Samuel Taylor Coleridge, seems like it’s just swell to be clear-headed, and sometimes I think that maintaining a good sense of balance, a feeling of calm, and a clear vision may be the entire trick to living a wonderful life.

And if, sometimes, we’re all searching for the Golden Words … well, there’s a little artist in all of us.

Categories // All, Looking Back, truth, Views

Follow Your Bliss, Know Thyself, Change the World

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

On the E1KaD forum, December 13, 2008: I enjoyed the following, which was posted today by Steve in Texas. Maybe you might like it, too —


There has been a lot of talk on [this] forum about focus, building your business, marketing and so on, but I have seen little about being self employed, knowing yourself and getting the most out of yourself and your life.

Heres my brain dump on “being” for you to use or disregard as you choose.

Why are you here?
Lets face it, working for someone else is ultimately easer than working for yourself; no accounting, chasing payments, marketing or product creation. Turn up, put the nut on the bolt, get paid, go home. So why are we working for ourselves?

For me its the need to create, plus I dont play well with morons, sorry managers. I used to write and record songs for a living. A couple thousand later I got it out of my system. Now I create other stuff. I love houses and remodeling (who knew), I bang out web applications, websites and and other apps on a regular basis I cant help myself. As my mother said when I was debating whether to build my first recording studio, “of course you should, its what you do dear”.

What is it that you “do” dear?

Follow Your Bliss
Most people can tell you what they dont like, few can tell you what they do like, or need. What do you need out of your life to make you happy? For me its peace and quiet, nature, security and doing something “interesting”. So far:

* I live in the forest – the loudest noise right at this moment is the wind in the trees and the big ol wind chime outside my office.
* I have multiple streams of income from some unique and not unique sites and products, some cash in the bank and am reasonably secure for now.
* Every day I get to create, improve or rebuild something, something that makes others go “wow, cool”.

My bliss is doing pretty well. Hows yours?

Know Thyself
Even though my bliss quotient is probably above average, there is still stuff I think I should do or actually have to do, but just cant bring myself to do.

I know I should write articles to promote my business but cant bring myself to write them (and yet here I am writing). I know I should take care of my accounting but its like pulling teeth to just do my taxes once a year. I know I should be better organized and not have 5 projects running at the same time and mountains of paper all over my office, but thats just how my brain works.

I know I work better late than early. I should always write an idea down when I get it. I love a programming challenge. I like helping others. I like solving problems. I work in bursts

I know myself reasonably well, but I still have to take action on that knowledge, like hire a bookkeeper!

What are your strengths and weaknesses? Do you need peace and quiet or lots of bustle and people around you? What can you not bring yourself to do, even when it must be done? Conversely, what cant you stop yourself from doing? You can use that knowledge to make following your bliss just that little bit easier.

Change the World
This may sound odd but we all strive for it on one way or another. For some, having children is their road to immortality, for others like myself it is to create something I can leave behind – thats partly why I did music.

I know Dennis preaches that getting that one small step in place leads to others. No disagreement here. But I would suggest thinking and striving for the larger goals of life too, like a new house, new car or to feed the hungry people of the world.

The old Hollywood saying goes “if you reach for the stars you wont end up with a handful of mud”. So if you were to reach for the stars, what would you reach for? Think of something concrete, not just money. Money is abstract and quite honestly meaningless as a goal (if you want a post on why this is, let me know as it was part of my thesis). A goal is one you can describe in detail, like a house for example. Is it a Tudor, Spanish, California bungalow? What color? How big? Does it have shutters?

Getting to know yourself, how you function and what you basic needs are may well be the answer to being successful far more than any piece of software, search engine trick or may I dare say, forum.

You cant build a house if you dont know where you want to live. Theres no point in laying rails if you dont know what will power the train. Theres no point in building up or buying into self employment until you know what your life should look like.

As always, the opinions are those of the author alone, consult a doctor or attorney as needed and dont eat the yellow snow.

Categories // All, Looking Back, Views

A Tiny History of Henrietta, Texas

03.13.2011 by bloggard // 12 Comments

Clay County Courthouse, circa 1939Henrietta, Texas: The Texas Department of Transportation took this photograph in 1939, but the Clay County courthouse was built in 1884, of red brick and sandstone.

One hundred and fifty years ago, the year being 1857, Clay County was separated out from Cooke County, and the new county seat was decreed to be renamed Henrietta. I don’t know what it was named before that. I wasn’t there, nor anyone else that I know. The accepted story when I was growing up was that the county seat was actually somewhere else, and cowboys roped the small, original courthouse building and dragged it to Henrietta.

The original courthouse had later become the original jail, and then it became the original library, and then it became … empty. When I was a child, one could see the tiny, one-room building where it sat, boards over the windows, beside the large and dank stone jailhouse. So this story must have been true, because you could see the building.

Henrietta sits along what is now U.S. Highway 287, twenty miles south of Wichita Falls. The name “Henrietta” is sometimes attributed to Henry Clay, after whom Clay County is named, but other folks claim that it was named for his wife, whose name was Lucretia. Makes no sense either way.

But way back then, by 1860, Henrietta had grown hugely, to ten houses and a general store, and there were 107 real people and two slaves. A Post Office opened in 1862, so that these folks living on the then far western edge of civilization could send and receive letters.

The pesky Civil War broke out.
Unfortunately, the pesky Civil War broke out, the soldiers withdrew, the letters stopped, and the pesky Indians found it much easier to kill the pesky white settlers. Soon the town was abandoned, with strange Indian signs scrawled upon the walls — an early form of grafitti — though soon after, the walls were burned to the ground.

After the Civil war, a Doctor Elderidge brought a small group of settlers to attempt to rebuild the ruins, but after several folks were killed, the rest gave it up. Then a Quaker named Goodleck Koozer — no, really. Goodleck Koozer — brought his family to Henrietta ruins in 1870. He didn’t carry weapons, and believed that the Indians would be kind to him if he treated them fairly.

Alas, he was sadly mistaken.

Whitehorse cared not a whit.
Later, when Clay County got organized, a grand jury was organized and indicted Whitehorse, who had killed Koozer, kidnapped his wife and daughter, and chased his son out of the county. But Whitehorse cared not a whit for the indictment, and faded into the wilderness, never to be seen again by them as lived in Henrietta.

In 1870, fifty soldiers and — the soldiers claimed — three hundred Kiowa Indians fought a battle in the ruins of Henrietta. As a child growing up there later, I never actually saw any sign of all this, but that’s what they said.

Afterward, settlers began to return to Henrietta, and in 1873 the forty voters held an election in a tent, and county officials were elected. There was only one candidate for each position, so the voting was orderly, and the results uncontested.

The next year saw the re-opening of the Post Office, and I would have thought they’d be pretty busy delivering all the letters that had stacked up. Plus, by then Sears and Roebuck had been invented, so maybe there were some packages.

The railroad comes to town.
In 1882 the Fort Worth and Denver City Railway reached Henrietta, and in 1887 the Gainesville, Henrietta and Western Railway was built through the town. This line later that same year became part of the Missouri, Kansas and Texas line, and was afterward called the MKT, or “Katy” line. The Katy railroad was still running when I was a child, though by high-school years, the train had vanished, and even the tracks and ties had somehow evaporated, leaving the long right-of-way running beside the fields, empty and strange.

In the 1880’s, several stagecoach lines had begun running westward from Henrietta. Travelers would take the train to Henrietta and then ride a stage to their destination. In that time the community had become a buffalo-hunting center. After purchasing supplies in Henrietta, the hunters would head out, to return with wagonloads of bones and hides, for shipping out on the train, the hides to make robes and rugs, and the bones to be ground into a type of fertilizer.

The watermelon capital of the world.
When mines developed in nearby Foard County, Henrietta became the shipping point for heavy equipment. At another time, Henrietta became the watermelon capital of the world, shipping watermelons out in boxcar after boxcar. Later I saw those watermelons growing on my grandparents’ farm, but somehow they’d stopped shipping them out. I don’t know why. They were perfectly good watermelons.

Henrietta was incorporated in 1881. I suppose this means that, as of that date, nobody is responsible for anything. And then the courthouse was built in 1884, and in the 1890’s the town had grown to 2100 real people, and no slaves, though the courthouse still had a separate bathroom marked “colored” for the persons who were not slaves but free and equal members of society at that time.

A 400-seat opera house.
In the 1890’s the town had several saloons and hotels, restaurants, and a 400-seat opera house — I cannot possibly imagine the people I knew there watching an opera; I found opera generally incomprehensible in San Francisco. Plus, opera is in Italian. Nobody in Henrietta speaks Italian; they cannot even correctly pronounce the word “Italian,” even today. Something’s fishy.

Henrietta had two banks, a photographer, a cigar-manufacturer, a school, a jail, plus two newspapers, five churches, a drugstore with soda fountain, and for two years, a college. I suppose everyone in town who could go to a college probably graduated, and that was that.

By the late 1930’s it had grown to slightly fewer folks, but ninety businesses were running strong, including two cotton gins which shipped out 13,000 bales of cotton in 1937, plus a cottonseed oil plant, an ice plant, a hotel, four rooming houses, and two boot and leather companies. Churches had increased to seven, and there were three schools: primary school, high school, and black school.

My mother and I moved to Henrietta.
In 1944 I was born in distant California, and when my mother’s marriage soon ended we moved to Henrietta, which had two movie theatres — the Dorothy and the Royal — along with two drugstores and two drygoods stores, and five grocery stores and a blacksmith, and the same courthouse, and two doctors — Dr. Greer, and my mother’s brother, Dr. Hurn, behind whose office my mother and I lived in a tiny apartment.

There and on my grandparents’ farm north of town we lived, and I grew and learned to run through the woods and to walk to school, and to read and write. And we moved once, and again into a little house of our own. And there were scandals and vandals, and hikes and bikes, and romance and fights, and rodeos and movie-shows and cars and a drive-in called the Lo’ Boy, and high school and away to colleges, and the world grew wide.

The new highway …
In the 1970’s, after I’d left, the population reached its high-water mark at 3,600, but then the new highway was run around the town instead of through it, and things dwindled. The businesses that remained manufactured travel trailers, windows, livestock feed, branding irons, and cowboy boots.

Every September the Clay County Pioneer Reunion and Rodeo is still held at Tex Rickard Stadium, named for boxing promoter George Lewis (Tex) Rickard, who was city marshal in Henrietta for many years.

Mitchell’s Truck Stop moved from the old location out onto the new highway.

I moved far away.

Things change.

Categories // All, Henrietta Texas, Looking Back, Texas, Views

How I Became Cronos

03.13.2011 by bloggard // 1 Comment

The Glyph of Cronos (Sign of Saturn)Tiny apartment near Carl and Cole, San Francisco, March, 1984: Approaching my 40th birthday, again I began thinking about changing my name.

I’d been born ‘Richard French’, and known that way back in Henrietta Texas, in college, and on my travels, but ever since I was 30 I’d been thinking about changing my name.

My theory was that we humans tend to ‘act out’ our name. The only reason that this is not always so totally obvious is that each person’s idea of what his name means is very personal, quite idiosyncratic, and not always visible to an outsider. I figured that, if this were so, maybe it would be a good idea to consciously choose the name you’d like to act out.

Although I’d had this theory for ten years, I’d never found a good name to choose.

Until now.

Now, my 40th birthday looming, again I thought I’d like a new act, and one day I thought of the name:

Arthur Cronos.

I liked this name because it was after Arthur, Lord of all Brittany, and after Jupiter’s father, Cronos, so it had classical elements. My initials would be ‘AC’, as in electricity, and when I signed my name (‘ACronos’), it would mean ‘outside of time.’

I was delighted, and so I told my then wife Lori that I was going to change my name to Arthur Cronos.

“That’s not a very nice name,” she said.

“Oh,” I said, and went away for awhile. About a week later I came back to her and said, “You know, I’ve decided not to change my name to Arthur Cronos.”

“No?” she said.

“No,” I said, “I’ve decided to change my name to Traktor Topaz instead.”

“Oh,” she said, and she went away for about a week. Then she came up to me.

“You know,” she said, “Arthur Cronos is not so bad.”

Categories // All, Looking Back, Views

God Save the Queen

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Henrietta, Texas. June 2, 1953. I was nine, and Ricky Moyer’s grandmother had a television set. Free of school, with my mother I visited evenings, where in their den, with every lamp turned off — that’s how one watched movies, you see — we all watched Charlie Chan.

But on this day, a scorching summer afternoon of 106 degrees, we sheltered in his Grandmother’s air-conditioning, and on the television that day, we watched people on the other side of the world. A young woman named Elizabeth was being crowned Queen of England in a place called Westminster Abbey.

We watched the black & white procession. We watched the crown placed upon her head. That same day, we learned that a man named Edmund Hillary had climbed Mount Everest, even further away from our hot summer afternoon in north Texas, where farmers and cowboys could gaze upon the Queen.

Categories // All, Looking Back, Views

Tiny Flowers

05.10.2008 by bloggard // 4 Comments

Weed, California, Saturday May 10, 2008: Usually around mid-day, the dogs and I like to take a little walk around the house and the very large vacant lot next door. It’s mostly an open field, with some tall and graceful trees at the far end.

If we have walked to the end, and walked around one or more of the trees … well, we know we’ve been somewhere.

Today, the air was cool, but the sun was warm on us, and I plodded along after Charlie the dashing young boy, and I was lost in thought, watching my feet, for the now fast-growing grasses can hide gopher holes.

And I saw …

Tiny little flowers, a pale lavender color, just tiny little things.

And I remembered … back when I was four and five and seven and nine, and visiting my grandmother’s farmhouse, and how along the paved walkway to the chicken yard and the barns beyond … on the left she kept bushy thick plants with a million tiny little flowers, in yellow and blue and purple and white.

I don’t know what they were called. I had forgotten them.

And now, those tiny, tiny flowers came back, over the years. And as I walked here in the now, I realized they were everywhere at my feet, the tiny purple flowers. Everywhere. I smiled.

“Hello,” I said, “Hello, Grandmother.”

I walked on through those tiny galaxies, and once again I felt loved.

I realize: the flowers are everywhere, if you look.

The world is filled with twilight and memories and shifting shapes, if you look. The ones who have gone have left ripples, and sometimes we feel them eddy around us. And within us as well.

Tiny flowers. Filling the world.

Categories // All, childhood, family, Looking Back, magic, Views

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