The Adventures of Bloggard

Been Around the Block. Got Some Stories. These are Them.

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Winter

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Mount Shasta: We’ve been seeing neighbors up and down the hill preparing vasty stacks of firewood. In the early AM, still dark, we see boats towed by pickups containing duck-hunters in camo suits and rifles. Sundown comes earlier and the dawn is tardy. The air has a chill. Winter is coming.

 
 
 
 
 
 

Winter is icumen in,
Lhude sing Goddamm,
Raineth drop and staineth slop,
And how the wind doth ramm!

— Ezra Pound (1885-1972)

Categories // Looking Back

Dreadfully Embarrassed

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Westbury Hotel, San Francisco, 3 AM, October 1974: Dreadfully embarrassed. I first heard this phrase in the summer after my Junior year in High School. I’d signed up for the wheat harvest, which is cross between “On the Road”, being a truck-drivin’ man, and working on a farm.

Wheat is grown in the middle of the United States, so they call it the ‘grain belt’. The grain ripens first in Texas, then Oklahoma, then Nebraska, then the Dakotas, and all the way into Canada. Our caravan followed the ripening wheat, travelling north.

“Oh. Pardon me. I am dreadfully embarrassed, and I am sure that it will never happen again.”

The Moser family, for whom I worked, pulled a house trailer, and the hands, of which I was one, slept in a bunk trailer, a hand-built box on wheels containing bunks. Some hands were combine drivers, who drove the reaping machines around and around in the wheatfield. I was a truck driver, meaning I loaded my truck with grain and drove it to the elevator in town, where they credited the farmer.

One of the drivers, a thin and angular fellow, had an odd sense of humor and a bad case of gas. At one point, after polluting our bunk trailer, in response to jeers and threats, he said, “Oh. Pardon me. I am dreadfully embarrassed, and I am sure that it will never happen again.”

That’s all very well to say. However, I have seen dreadfully embarassed, and it looks quite different. For example …

It was the dead of night at the lejurious Westbum- Oops I mean Westbury Hotel in downtown San Francisco. The hotel was nearly full, mostly Japanese tours, and the last of the Japanese men — a hard-drinking lot, in dark suits — had drifted into the lobby, and up to their rooms on the 30 floors above us.

Henry So, the night auditor, had almost completed balancing the night’s books, and I was on the desk with nothing to do except fiddle with the reservation racks. Suddenly the fire alarm on the wall began a horrendous clanging that made calm thought difficult and speech impossible.

In the switchboard room, the display showed trouble on the sixth floor, so Roselle the telephone operator started calling room after room, asking folks to immediately evacuate to the lobby. Beyond the fire alarm’s clanging came the wailing of sirens, growing closer.

Elevators began to disgorge disheveled people in a hodgepodge of pajamas, business attire, and hairpins. The milling throng grew and grew. A pretty Japanese tour leader stood on a chair, yelling incomprehensibly, and gathering all her dark-suited countrymen around her. Fire marshalls rushed through the lobby and disappeared. Men in yellow slickers began unrolling vast hoses into the lobby.

Through the din, I’m yelling at the marshall to ask if he can kill the alarm. Suddenly it stops. Four to five hundred people, standing in the lobby, are suddenly very quiet, and we could hear one Japanese man sobbing. Everybody turns to see him and we watch him talking tearfully to the tour leader.

The fire marshall startles me, saying that an alarm was triggered on the sixth floor — home of the japanese tour — but there is no fire. His men are yelling out the door. Hoses are being rolled up. Still the Japanese man continues his tearful story. He stops. All is still.

I stand on a chair behind the desk and speak very loudly, telling everybody that we are very, very sorry for the disturbance, but I am relieved and happy to announce that there is no danger, repeat, there is no danger, and it is safe to return to your rooms now. We thank you for your cooperation, we apologise for the disturbance, everything has been verified as safe, and you can return to your rooms.

The tour leader is watching me and I motion her over, to ask if she knows what triggered the fire alarm on the sixth floor. If you have travelled in hotels, you will have seen these alarms in the hallways. It’s always a red panel with a lever to pull, clearly labeled “Fire Alarm.”

Well, yes, the tour leader said, she did know something about that. In the background, silent, the Japanese tourists are waiting for elevators, except for the one man still standing by himself, staring at the floor.

From the tour leader, I learned that Japanese hotels often have cigarette lighters in the hallways. These handy cigarette lighters are bright red, and clearly labelled. Labelled, of course, in Japanese, not in English which is of course a foreign language to many Japanese gentlemen.

The Japanese gentleman who had mistaken the fire alarm for a cigarette lighter stood quietly and didn’t move.

Now, that is dreadfully embarassed.

Categories // Looking Back

Driving and Driving

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Highway Five, August 30 2003: Today I am driving north in the Big Yellow Truck. Arriving in Mount Shasta, we will be unloading the Big Yellow Truck. Tonight perhaps we will dine at Casa Ramos. We will order beer. Last time, son-in-law Joe, age 36, was carded by the waiter. Ha ha ha ha ha! And that’s the news.

Categories // Looking Back

So Long — Of What Use is a Song?

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

A hotel near the airport, Burbank, Fall 1991: Yesterday I attended a conference. I don’t remember exactly why. I’d been setting up my first 800-number voicemail company, and noticing that quite a few MLM (Multi-Level Marketing) people signed up, I’d decided to try offering a MLM resellers program. I’d flown down from San Francisco yesterday to visit this little conference, to learn more about how MLM worked.

Although I don’t now recall much about the conference, I sharply remember the morning after. On my way to breakfast, I learned that Miles Davis had died. The newspaper didn’t say why; later reports said pneumonia and a stroke. At the time, I assumed drugs.

Miles had called me one night.

Years before in 1969, at 3 am in Beverly Hills, all was quiet in the lobby of the Bevery Rodeo Hyatt House, where I was the night auditor. Miles’ wife — whom I was sure was the woman pictured on the cover of his ‘Porgy and Bess’ album — was staying in the hotel, and the night bellman was complaining that she kept calling him, wanting this, wanting that, fussing, acting oddly, he said.

When the switchboard rang, I answered and it was Miles.

A Trumpet at the End of Days

Gravelly-voiced, he asked my name. He knew the hotel well. He frequently stayed there. I’d not seen him, but our highly-crispy morning bellman Roger, had reported in detail their many arguments. Roger, a young and zippy white kid with a full head of steam and vast assurance, was certain that white basketball players were clearly superior. Miles, never known for tact or modesty, was certain that black basketball players were superior.

I’m glad I wasn’t there and was never asked, for I knew nothing about basketball. Disappinted though that I’d not met Miles, for I’d been a fan ever since my friend Lefevre gave me that Porgy and Bess album as a birthday present during high school years. I’d played it over and over in the basement of our home.

In this basement, I’d painted three walls pale blue and one wall burnt orange, and with an intricate speaker-cabinet planned from Mechanics Illustrated and with materials salvaged from my award-winning and bogus science fair exhibit, the sound was magnificent in this basement, with Miles’ pinched tone sounding now and again in little short phrases.

Jerry described that sound as playing through fishnets, but that wasn’t it. I’ve heard that once Miles was asked why he liked the trumpet; he said that it sounded like the human voice. But that wasn’t what it sounded like, either. What it sounded like, was Miles.

So. Beverly Hills at 3 am, and the switchboard rings, and Miles’ gravel-voice asks my name. My name was then Richard, and I told him.

“Richard,” he said. “My wife’s there.” I agreed; she was. In room such-a-number. He thought a while.

“She’s upset,” he said. I agreed; she was. About something. Or about nothing. Who knows? We didn’t know. “She’s upset,” he said. “See if you can’t calm her down, OK?”

How the hell was I supposed to do that? Or, expressed differently, what would be the best approach for a 24-year-old white boy with acne, completely inept with women, an employee of the hotel, to deal with a lushiously beautiful black woman possibly strung-out and cranky on drugs in one of our rooms, to calm her down as a favor to the most famous horn player in the world, calling in from New York?

“Gee, Mr. Davis,” I stuttered, “I don’t know what to do.” He brushed my objection aside.

“Just talk to her,” he said. “Calm her down, OK? Just try, OK?”

OK, I said. I did call her, and asked if everything was OK. She told me off, and then, apparently, everybody was happy.

And now, years later, standing shocked and blocking the line to the breakfast buffet in this Burbank hotel, I read that Miles is dead. He’s gone. I don’t know the guy, but it hurt.

Why did it hit me so?

Lonesome Whistle

Recently, Johnny Cash died. It seemed like a part of my life had gone. Adrienne had rushed into my Mount Shasta office to tell me; she’d heard it on the radio. The next day, we were talking about trains, and she asked me what was the Johnny Cash song about the train. “Folson Prison Blues,” I told her, and started to sing the first verse. She burst into tears.

“Don’t!” she said. “Don’t, please.”

Why does it hit us so?

I think it’s this. Most of us have heard a trumpet. But we’d never heard that trumpet. Most of us have heard a freight train. But maybe we’d never fully heard the lonliness in that late-night whistle. In songs, the singer brings us something, and it becomes a part of our lives.

Miles gave us a trumpet, and a sound. Johnny Cash gave us freight trains.

Categories // Looking Back

The Ages of Man

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Somewhere I’ve read about an old Chinese view about how a man’s life should unfold:

As a child, one plays.
As a youth, one studies.
As a young man, you join the army.
As a grown man, you engage in commerce.
As an established man, you marry.
As a married man, you raise children.
As an older man, you retire and engage in community service.

This seems like a pretty good plan to me.

Every part of a person is represented in this scheme. For example, in the army you learn important basics of operating your body, being orderly, operating in teams, focusing on tasks, and keeping your head when all about you …

Just about everything you’d like to do in your life is represented in this scheme: Study, adventure, romance, family life, and let us not forget loafing and playing.

If this scheme were widespread, the culture would at any one time have plenty of play, study, adventure, business, romance, family life, and wisdom. Because there would be citizens in every one of these categories.

A culture can become unbalanced. North Korea has way too much army, and so they suffer the financial drain. They could use their army to provide other functions, but then they wouldn’t really be army, would they?

Our own culture probably has far too little army. I never served. At the time, our nation was sending us off to be killed in Viet Nam. This did not seem the path of wisdom to me at the time.

However, it means I missed a special part of life. And I think our culture shows the general lack of the learning that comes from the army. Sure, we can laugh about some of the clumsy ways the army can operate. But in college, I noticed that my student friends who were ex-army, ex-navy, ex-marine were some of the most focussed students. Their heads were on straight. More than I could say for myself and lotso my friends.

What do you think. Is the Chinese Ages of Man concept a good one?

(No cussing, please.)

Categories // Looking Back

Our 1951 Chevy

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Henrietta, Texas, 1951: My mother was very proud of the brand new car. Pale green with a long hood, with comfortable seats, a heater, and a radio! She couldn’t wait to take us on a trip.

“Hop in the car, and away we’ll go! Hop in the car, and away we’ll go!” she sang, to the tune of the William Tell Overture, which I knew from the radio as the Lone Ranger song. “And a-waaaay we’ll go!”

In celebration, we drove to Denton to visit Aunt Rosemary and Uncle Esty, and cousins Bob and Dan. It was very grand.

I was a child, so I didn’t realize then how happy this made her. Even growing up, it was nothing to ever consider. Only now, realizing that this was the first car she’d owned, it’s obvious, looking back, that this was a big day.

I can see the car now, parked in front of our house. The lawn, the sidewalk, and then a row of Bois d’Arc trees along the curb. The pale green Bois d’Arc apples lying in the grass, and the pale green car, so new, so modern. In my mother’s eyes, in that moment, we had arrived!

She drove with skill, and sang me songs. I had Cracker Jacks for the trip. I looked out the windows. It took a long time. I grew restive. Then we were there.

When I learned to read, I tried to read along the way. I read most of Old Yeller in this way. It always made me carsick, and my mother, the nurse, always had dramamine to quell it.

On my trip to Houston on an airplane, my mother drove the green car down to meet me. We dined that night in a restaurant, with my father, upon lobster and butter. It was a long drive back from Houston.

We took a vacation. I don’t know where we went, but we saw the Ozark mountains. We drove and drove and drove. We stayed in a small motel on the outskirts of a great city. My mother complained about the cost; she felt cheated. In the morning my mother packed the little bars of soap. Then she packed all the motel towels into the suitcase! I was scandalized. She looked at me sternly.

“They expect you to take them,” she said. I couldn’t understand it then, but I understand now. She was stealing their towels. Isn’t that outrageous? And lying to her child as well! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! You go, girl!

Later, she drove me to summer camp in this car, and when I was homesick, she came to fetch me in this car. Years later, after she’d married Doctor Strickland, they traded the Chevrolet on a blue DeSoto, and I in turn purchased the same car back from the dealer for $300. I think they arranged the whole thing.

I got a different muffler so that it would make more noise, then ran into another car and had to replace the bent-up hood with a dark green one, and with my dog Bullet drove noisily and two-toned around the town and countryside. I wish I still had that Chevrolet. I didn’t know at the time, but it had class.

Categories // Looking Back

Office in a Box

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

San Anselmo, August 28 2003: My voicemail company becomes temporarily closed today, as I pack the office into a box. Easier than it sounds, I’m packing four computers, two desks, and one set of shelves with stationery and toner.

In May, I contracted with a long-distance company to move our voicemail lines and equipment into a cabinet in their San Jose switching center. The installation and re-routing was completed last month, and I cleared out my equipment rooms. The business office is now portable; it can operate anywhere there’s a phone line.

Today, packing my office into boxes, is the last step.

Tomorrow, loading the Big Yellow Truck.

Then, vamanos amigos!

Categories // Looking Back

The Pioneer Reunion

03.13.2011 by bloggard // Leave a Comment

Henrietta, Texas (Special): Preparations for the 72nd annual Clay County Pioneer Reunion starting next week, September 18th, in Henrietta have started.

The rodeo office at the Pioneer Grounds opens at 9 a.m. Box seat ticket holders may pick up their tickets or call the office for delivery at (940) 538-5111. Rodeo will feature bull and bronc riding, calf roping, bulldogging, clowns, a greased pig contest, ladies fancy riding, music and comedy. A dance will follow the festivities.

Riders who plan to participate in the Pioneer Rodeo grand entries or parades need to have up-to-date Coggins test papers on their horses.

Float building has been under way for several weeks at the Pioneer Hall. To register float themes, call Sherri Halsell at the Clay County extension office at (940) 538-5042. After the parades on Saturday and Sunday morning, stick around for the fiddling contest and art show on the courthouse grounds.

The theme for this year’s float parades is “Pick 3, Any 3, in 2003.” The annual reunion gets under way with the cowboy kickoff parade Sept. 18 and continues through Sept. 20.

Categories // Looking Back

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