San Francisco Yellow Pages, 1986: In the Yellow Pages that year you’d find listed “Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service” at 221-3333. If you called it you might hear this —
“Hello and thank you for calling Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service, the world’s fastest telepathic answering service. It takes most no time at all to send your messages to everybody … well, just about everybody.
“I am your Host and Operator Ruru the Guru, speaking to you direct from the Himalaya Hideaway.
“And now for the news …”
“The President telepathed to ask you some questions about pressing international matters. He sez he’ll check back later.
“Your mama wants you to pick up some Handy Andy and Wonderbread at the store.
“Your dentist wanted to remind you don’t forget to floss.
“And last, your downstairs neighbor sez any more ruckus and he’s calling the cops.
“And that’s your telepathic messages for today.”