San Francisco Yellow Pages, 1986: In the Yellow Pages that year you’d find listed “Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service” at 221-3333. If you called it you might hear this —
“Hello and thank you for calling Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service, the good-time telepathic answering service that can get you fixed up!
“I am your Host and Operator Ruru the Guru, speaking to you direct from the Himalaya Hideaway.
“You know, sometimes I think you humans do things the hard way.
“For example, on Saturday nights I work a lot in a bar off Union Street. When people start to run low I carry the message to Joe the Bartender. You may know the place. Joe always hands you a fresh one about the time you start to think about it.
“Anyway, there’s a woman in gold lame, slit skirt, and pearls down to here, she asks me:
“Ruru,” (she asks), “That guy across the way, been looking at me all night, I wonder if he really likes me?”
“I said I’d find out.
“After I spent a few seconds in his mind, I was kind of liking her looks myself! So I went back and said–
“He’d sure like to find out if he likes you!
“She said to ask him to come sit over here. So I did.
“And she sez ask him to buy me a drink. So I did, and he did.
“She sez ask him to put his arm around me. So I did, and he did. And then she starts to ask me …
“And right there I put my foot down.
“Hell, lady. He’s sitting right beside you. He looks friendly. Ask him yourself!”